Thursday, September 25, 2008

Project Runway Rundown: Musical Stares

I hope you all enjoyed another week of bullshit judging. Let's get this over with.

Challenge: Create a look for one of your fellow designers based on a musical genre.

Before we begin, I just want to say how annoying the basis of this challenge is. It's almost impossible not to create something cliche and stereotypical. Hence, we got four cliched stereotypes and whatever the fuck it was that Kenley made. Anyway, on with the designs.

Model: Suede
Genre: Punk

Eh. I mean, everything was kinda eh, so I don't dispute that this was the winner, but eh. It looks punky, I guess. The pants are pretty good, and the bleaching effect worked really well, but I think of really tight pants when I think punk. You could probably get the shirt at Hot Topic. The styling was really over the top. But she did well, considering the challenge constraints. Suede's runway histrionics made me want to vom all over the place.

NOTE TO NINA: I love you, but Marilyn Manson is not punk, and he did not look like Marilyn Manson.

Model: Kenley
Genre: Pop

This was also a good effort - Kenley actually looks much prettier this way. (That means ditch the florals, missy.) I like the sheer cutouts, and the sparkly bra underneath is a nice touch. The vest is the biggest mistake here - it's too Aladdin and too small. The hair and makeup are nice, but the boots just do not go with the rest of the look. I think Jerell didn't quite get there for two reasons:
1)it was pretty unimaginative,
and 2)they also didn't want Jerell (of all the talented people in the history of PR) to be the first three-peat designer.

Model: Korto
Genre: Country

This is where I start to get cranky. I didn't love this look (although the skirt is quite nice), but I don't know what more they want her to do with it. They say she didn't go far enough with it, but if she had gone farther, Michael Kors would've said something like, "She looks like Dolly Parton in blackface!" Instead, he settled for the somewhat less repellent, but still inappropriate, "She just looks like she's going to go eat some ribs." WHOA. I'm going to cut Michael some slack on that, but... not okay. Whatever.

Model: Leanne
Genre: Hip-Hop

Warning: The rest of this post is going to be VERY ANGRY. VERY.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. All of a sudden, hip-hop means mom jeans, the same fucking type of print that Kenley has used for every challenge, a leather jacket, and gaudy jewelry. Those pants are absolutely disgusting. I wouldn't use them as toilet paper. The top does not look like "graffiti," as Kenley so idiotically said, but like the cover of The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. The jacket is the only thing that remotely works in this outfit. It is appalling that Kenley isn't out after this. The judges seemed to give her some leeway, saying that it's not what she's used to, but GUESS WHAT. I bet Korto doesn't really have much experience with punkish clothing but SHE DID JUST FINE. FUCK YOU, JUDGES.

What makes this all the worse is Kenley's attitude during the whole thing. Her complete disdain for hip-hop culture was rude and bordered on racially insensitive. It's very telling that when Tim quizzed her about making baggy clothes (which, by the way, did not go out in the 80s, Kenley), she got offended and said she wasn't going to make Leanne look like an idiot. I really wish we could have seen the unedited interaction between her and LL Cool J when she said something similar on the runway - he seemed to get really frustrated by that. Her attitude toward Tim and the judges is also disgusting - she'll soak up the praise, but if anyone says an ill word, she's instantly defensive and everyone else is wrong. And now she's staying around because she's the villain. FUCK YOU, KENLEY.


Model: Jerell
Genre: Rock

I've made it no secret that I've wanted Suede gone for a long time. I was eagerly anticipating his auf. I felt it coming this week. Then, the producers managed to find a way to take all the joy out of it. Instead of Suede going home for one of his past monstrosities, he gets a bullshit auf when he didn't really do all that badly. FUCK YOU PRODUCERS FOR NOT LETTING ME REVEL IN THIS.

The vest is cool. The pants are cool. The shirt is the biggest mistake, because it does look like something Jerell would wear anyway, and it's really not all that rock-ish.

Whatever, Suede still sucks.

Next week: Kenley acts like an awful, spoiled, whiny, crazy two-year old. Also, they'll make dresses or something.

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