Monday, November 24, 2008

R. E. Why?

This weekend, for the first time in my life, I went to an REI (which apparently stands for Recreational Systems, Inc.) It was awful. Here's why.

1.) It was so big. I got lost TWICE while I was there.

2.) The employee uniforms are beyond ugly. Seriously, what's with the Home Improvement vests?

3.) Greenwashing. Big box stores do not get to claim environmental responsibility. Sure, some effort is better than none, but I know an easy way to reduce your emissions, REI - build smaller stores.

4.) Too outdoorsy! I care about nature and all, but I'm a city person through and through, so being surrounded by tents and snowboards was alarming.

5.) Too expensive! If I'm spending $100 on a vest, that vest better be made out of elephant or some shit.

6.) So suburbanite. To quote Liz Lemon, "I haven't seen this many white people in tuxedos since the Titanic." (Substitute "North Face" for "tuxedos.")

In conclusion, I hated it. I also managed to swallow my convictions for long enough to spend $15 on a travel mug, so yeah, I'm pretty lame to bitch about all of this. Damn my lack of willpower!

1 comment:

bryan said...

Concurring opinion. Why REI, why do you have to exist and clutter my visual field with fake mountain climbing walls and tent displays and the vague feeling that I am in a man-made cave where I will be trapped forever.