Project Runway Rundown: Musical Stares

I hope you all enjoyed another week of bullshit judging. Let's get this over with.


Challenge: Create a look for one of your fellow designers based on a musical genre.

Before we begin, I just want to say how annoying the basis of this challenge is. It's almost impossible not to create something cliche and stereotypical. Hence, we got four cliched stereotypes and whatever the fuck it was that Kenley made. Anyway, on with the designs.

Korto
Model: Suede
Genre: Punk



Eh. I mean, everything was kinda eh, so I don't dispute that this was the winner, but eh. It looks punky, I guess. The pants are pretty good, and the bleaching effect worked really well, but I think of really tight pants when I think punk. You could probably get the shirt at Hot Topic. The styling was really over the top. But she did well, considering the challenge constraints. Suede's runway histrionics made me want to vom all over the place.

NOTE TO NINA: I love you, but Marilyn Manson is not punk, and he did not look like Marilyn Manson.

Jerell
Model: Kenley
Genre: Pop



This was also a good effort - Kenley actually looks much prettier this way. (That means ditch the florals, missy.) I like the sheer cutouts, and the sparkly bra underneath is a nice touch. The vest is the biggest mistake here - it's too Aladdin and too small. The hair and makeup are nice, but the boots just do not go with the rest of the look. I think Jerell didn't quite get there for two reasons:
1)it was pretty unimaginative,
and 2)they also didn't want Jerell (of all the talented people in the history of PR) to be the first three-peat designer.

Leanne
Model: Korto
Genre: Country



This is where I start to get cranky. I didn't love this look (although the skirt is quite nice), but I don't know what more they want her to do with it. They say she didn't go far enough with it, but if she had gone farther, Michael Kors would've said something like, "She looks like Dolly Parton in blackface!" Instead, he settled for the somewhat less repellent, but still inappropriate, "She just looks like she's going to go eat some ribs." WHOA. I'm going to cut Michael some slack on that, but... not okay. Whatever.

Kenley
Model: Leanne
Genre: Hip-Hop



Warning: The rest of this post is going to be VERY ANGRY. VERY.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. All of a sudden, hip-hop means mom jeans, the same fucking type of print that Kenley has used for every challenge, a leather jacket, and gaudy jewelry. Those pants are absolutely disgusting. I wouldn't use them as toilet paper. The top does not look like "graffiti," as Kenley so idiotically said, but like the cover of The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. The jacket is the only thing that remotely works in this outfit. It is appalling that Kenley isn't out after this. The judges seemed to give her some leeway, saying that it's not what she's used to, but GUESS WHAT. I bet Korto doesn't really have much experience with punkish clothing but SHE DID JUST FINE. FUCK YOU, JUDGES.

What makes this all the worse is Kenley's attitude during the whole thing. Her complete disdain for hip-hop culture was rude and bordered on racially insensitive. It's very telling that when Tim quizzed her about making baggy clothes (which, by the way, did not go out in the 80s, Kenley), she got offended and said she wasn't going to make Leanne look like an idiot. I really wish we could have seen the unedited interaction between her and LL Cool J when she said something similar on the runway - he seemed to get really frustrated by that. Her attitude toward Tim and the judges is also disgusting - she'll soak up the praise, but if anyone says an ill word, she's instantly defensive and everyone else is wrong. And now she's staying around because she's the villain. FUCK YOU, KENLEY.

ARGH.

Suede
Model: Jerell
Genre: Rock



I've made it no secret that I've wanted Suede gone for a long time. I was eagerly anticipating his auf. I felt it coming this week. Then, the producers managed to find a way to take all the joy out of it. Instead of Suede going home for one of his past monstrosities, he gets a bullshit auf when he didn't really do all that badly. FUCK YOU PRODUCERS FOR NOT LETTING ME REVEL IN THIS.

The vest is cool. The pants are cool. The shirt is the biggest mistake, because it does look like something Jerell would wear anyway, and it's really not all that rock-ish.

Whatever, Suede still sucks.

Next week: Kenley acts like an awful, spoiled, whiny, crazy two-year old. Also, they'll make dresses or something.

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Vote for Mange?

No, silly - Vote for Change! At this site (sponsored by the Obama campaign), you can register to vote if not yet registered, and then either find out how to request an absentee ballot or find your polling place. GO DO IT.

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Keep On Rockin' Me, Tina

At last night's Emmy awards, 30 Rock, nominated for 17 awards (the most ever for a comedy series!) pretty much cleaned up. Tina Fey first won for Best Writing on a Comedy Series. Next, Alec Baldwin won Best Actor in a Comedy Series, followed by another win for Tina Fey as Best Actress in a Comedy Series. Finally, Mary Tyler Moore and Betty White (!) presented Tina and the entire cast with the award for Best Comedy Series. Color me overjoyed. 30 Rock is by far my favorite show on television right now, and it's fantastic to see it get all the recognition it deserves. Hopefully, now people will start watching it, since it's been in danger of cancellation pretty much since its inception. Although I'll probably write a longer love post when the show comes back around in a month, for now, I shall revel.

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Correct

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Project Runway Rundown: You Can Quote Me on That

This week's recap gimmick: Quotations!


Jerell



"What the fuck is on Jerell's head?" - Me

UGH, I guess I have to give Jerell some credit here. This look worked well, although the blouse/skirt combo might not be work-appropriate without the cardigan, which is by far the best part of this outfit. The blouse and skirt are nice, but the cardigan really puts it into awesome land. Problem: That thing on Jerell's head? He originally wanted her to wear that. As I keep saying, Jerell has no idea how to style an outfit, and if she hadn't had the good sense to refuse that stupid little hat, he would have lost the win. But for once, he did everything else right, so congrats to Jerell. May he bore us with several more clever-but-not-really-all-that-clever confessionals as he saunters his way to Bryant Park.

Kenley



"I'm gonna make the prettiest dress in the world." - Kenley

Uh, Kenley? Turns out you fell a bit short of that lofty goal. I don't care what the judges say - I though this look was mediocre at best. That is the exact same dress Kenley keeps turning out, and guess what? You can get it at Goodwill. No need to enlist an overly loud designer. Also, that tulle sticking out at the bottom is absurd. The only thing I like is the vest, which offsets the rest nicely. Maybe I just have a Kenley imprint on my brain now, but if I saw this person on the street, I would be instantly irritated and annoyed. It just looks way too self-consciously hip.

P.S. Fuck you, Kenley and Li'l Kenley, for being so rude during the judging. HATE.

Korto



"I think the jacket is cool." - Cynthia Rowley

ME TOO, Cynthia Rowley! (Aside: I love Cynthia Rowley! She was a great guest.) In fact, I want that jacket. I adore the green piping against the burlap-ish color. I would wear it everywhere and be the prettiest boy around. Although I was talking to some that felt the jacket didn't go with the dress, I disagree; I really like the contrasting effect. The dress does seem a bit too simple, though.

Leanne



"Stop being mean to Leanne!" - Me

Okay, this? Is cute. It's very cute for a teacher. I didn't get all the hate. The sweater is really interesting, but still demure and classy, and the skirt is simple, which is pretty much required for an elementary school teacher. This accomplishes everything it needed to, but the judges apparently need to create some doubt in our mind about who's going to win this whole thing, so they decided to attack poor Leanne. (Who is going to win. I wish we could just fast forward to the finale and give it to her already. The only other person who even has a fighting chance is Korto.)

Suede



"I think Suede is a poseur. I don't understand his aesthetic as a designer." - Kenley

"I will say no more." - Nina

That about sums it up. The jacket is atrocious on a billion different levels. The dress is okay, but it's also all print. I barf on Suede's stupid head.

Joe



"I'm definitely confident in my design." - Joe

Oh Joe. This was just tragic. I had high hopes, since he has daughters, but...yuck. I mean, this makes girl look big, and girl was not all that big. It's hopelessly dated, and the construction is just terrible. LOOK AT THAT SHIRT. Ugh. Also, the belt and shoes are all wrong. I guess us Michiganders just aren't meant to win Project Runway (although my eternal PR boyfriend, Daniel V, came close!)

Next week: Whatever. I'm rapidly losing interest.

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Privilege and Politics

Aviva's just full of awesome links - here's a fantastic post about the way white privilege has manifested itself in the presidential campaign. I've excerpted part of it below:

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because “every family has challenges,” even as black and Latino families with similar “challenges” are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you’re being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you’re somehow being mean, or even sexist.


White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it, a “light” burden.


And there's more! This is a must-read.

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Be Well, Do Good Work, and Keep in Touch

I have this habit of listening to the podcast of Garrison Keillor's The Writer's Almanac before I go to bed at night. It's relaxing. The other day, I heard this poem and I really liked it, so here's a dose of something nice before what will likely be another angry Project Runway post tomorrow:


Maybe Very Happy
by Jack Gilbert

After she died he was seized
by a great curiosity about what
it was like for her. Not that he
doubted how much she loved him.
But he knew there must have been
some things she had not liked.
So he went to her closest friend
and asked what she complained of.
"It's all right," he had to keep
saying, "I really won't mind."
Until the friend finally gave in.
"She said sometimes you made a noise
drinking your tea if it was very hot."

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Introducing: In Heavy Rotation

New blog feature today! I will now have an Imeem playlist on my sidebar that represents my recent favorite music. (By "recent," I mean what I've been listening to lately, not that the music is necessarily recent. Although I wish it could be the latter, I'm not as up on new musicks as I should be.) I hope to update it every other week or so, and if I feel strongly enough about it, I'll post a little entry about the updates.

Starting playlist is after the jump:



"On the Train" by Theatre of Disco - Catchy! Weird! Vaguely unsettling!
"That's Not My Name" by The Ting Tings - I know I'm way behind on them (gasp - I didn't even know who they were before their iPod commerical), but it's still a fun song.
"Strange Overtones" by David Byrne and Brian Eno - From their excellent new album, Everything That Happens Will Happen Today. This is my favorite track from the album.
"The Ladies Who Lunch" from Company, as performed by Elaine Stritch - I'm not a musical gay, but this is great enough to awaken that dormant gene.
"Fireworks" by Animal Collective - Not very recent, but I'm in the midst of an Animal Collective resurgence.
"Silence" by Portishead - This is the opening track from my favorite album so far this year (Third, which is also Portishead's first in 11 years).
"8:08 PM @ The Beach" by Fred Falke - Ah, laid-back dance.
"Gut Feeling/Slap Your Mammy" by Devo - Brian love Devo.
"Cities" by Talking Heads - I just rewatched Stop Making Sense, so some Talking Heads representation is essential.
"Modern Love" by David Bowie - His best from the 80s.

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Please Don't Stop the Music

Here's a fun little article for a Friday. A professor in Scotland has been undertaking a study to see what personality types like different sorts of music. Although it's a little bit icky that the professor cites marketing as a possible use for the research, it's still fun to look over the genres and see how well you match up with the supposed personality type of your favorite music. It's like a musical horoscope!

Example: Out of the listed genres, I probably identify with "indie" and "dance" the most, although both of those are really vague. Based on that, I am creative, outgoing, not gentle, not hard-working, and I have low self-esteem.

Sounds about right!

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Project Runway Rundown: Fuck This Shit

UGH. Worst episode ever. After the jump, I'll explain why the judging this episode has serious implications beyond just this week.


Tomorrow, all six of the remaining designers will show at Bryant Park. This is a practice the show has always used to avoid spoiling the outcome - since Bryant Park happens while the show is still airing, the producers have to let all the designers that appear to still be in contention create a line, or else the Final Three would be spoiled. That means that Terri does not get to show at Bryant Park, but Jerell, Joe, and Suede, all vastly inferior designers, do. Let me say that again: SUEDE GETS TO SHOW A LINE AT BRYANT PARK.

This is tragic.

Beyond that, there was just way too much going on this episode, and none of it all that interesting. Nonetheless, I shall charge ahead and dutifully provide my thoughts on the various designers this week.

Jerell (with Jennifer)



This is the winner? Really? This look easily ranks fourth for me this week. That jacket is HIDEOUS. Ugly does not equal avant-garde. Seriously, those little peacock feathers or whatever at the elbow are awful, the print is unflattering, and there's just way too much going on. The gold lamé top to the dress looks cheap and tacky, and the styling, which Jerell always fails at, is just ridiculous. (What's in her hair? A lightning bolt?) Having said all that, I do quite like the skirt, and it's probably what gave him the win. The side flaps are interesting, and the flare at the bottom gives a nice effect.

Joe (with Daniel)



This is a really impressive look, although the skirt is a bit reminiscent of Christian and Chris's absolutely amazing avant-garde outfit last season. (Speaking of: how did the designers do so much worse with the avant-garde concept compared to last time around? Last season there were two stunning, completely original entries; this season, there were like, 0.5.) The top complements the skirt nicely without drawing too much attention, and the shrug provides a nice accent to prevent the top from looking too bare. A strong showing from Joe, although if Tim's blog is to be believed, Daniel was more in charge of this team. (Which makes me feel vindicated for still loving him.)


Korto (with Kelli)



I love the skirt on this. It's very Korto; flowy, lots of volume, etc. Things go haywire up top, which looks like third-rate Leanne. Also, it's not visible in this picture, but the huge mass of fabric on her back didn't add much to the overall design. It looked tacked on at the last second. Again, Tim's blog provides an interesting insight: Kelli apparently became rather sick during the challenge, so Korto was mostly working on her own. Although I still don't love the look, that tidbit makes me more forgiving of Korto this week.

Leanne (with Emily)



It looks sort of sloppy in this picture, but this probably would have been my pick for the winner. It captures Scorpio nicely without being too obvious, but is still clearly a Leanne creation. I love the way the "claws" form a sort of hood. Although still not all that avant-garde (none of this was), it was sexy and fun. If Leanne doesn't make it to Bryant Park, expect another angry post title out of me.

Kenley (with Wesley)



Positives: I got to see my boyfriend Wesley again, and he was as adorable as ever. Thank you, editors, for the gratuitous shirtless shot. Seeing Wesley back on the show is sort of like watching An Inconvenient Truth and wondering how great things could have been if Al Gore didn't get cheated out of the presidency.

Negatives: EVERYTHING ELSE. Jesus. What the hell is this? This looks like what the mildly psychotic sister of Tweedledum and Tweedledee would wear.


Kenley's inspiration

I can't say enough bad stuff about this dress. First of all, it doesn't fit the challenge at all. Nothing about this says Aquarius. (Although I did love Kenley screaming at Heidi (pardon the inexact quote), "How is this not Aquarius? It's free-spirited and eccentric and PURPLE!" Riiiight.) Beyond that, the shoulders are insane, the vinyl corset thing doesn't tie in with the rest of the look at all, and the skirt is the same poofy floral goiter nonsense that Kenley's been making for every challenge. Although the design is atrocious, it was well-constructed, and that's probably what saved Kenley. It certainly wasn't her screaming tirade against the judges, which again showed how unprofessional she really is.

Suede (with Jerry)



Oh goody, the two most delusional designers from this season get paired up, and they make... pajamas. I guess Suede is going to win or something, because apparently, he can never make something bad enough to get kicked off. But at least I know he'll keep trying!

Blayne (with Stella)



Oh my. Blayne apparently took avant-garde to mean "Make an outfit that looks like some sort of rejected Buffy the Vampire Slayer monster." I really can't say anything about this that hasn't already been said. It's awful. I'm sort of afraid my blog is going to get flagged as vulgar as a result of me posting this picture.

I know I've been hard on Blayne though, and since I won't have the chance again, I'll say now that he grew on me as the competition went on as he seemed less concerned about being a character. It was really sweet the way he and Stella interacted, and it's a shame they couldn't produce something better than this. Blayne was in way over his head on this show, but I hope he's learned from it and can move on to better things.

Terri (with Keith)



Yes, Terri was awful with Keith this week. She was rude and unnecessarily hostile. HOWEVER. Keith didn't really earn himself any sympathy points by talking about how "fragile" he was due to his recent aufing. Guess what, Keith? Stella got kicked off even more recently than you, and she worked her ass off for Blayne without a single complaint. It seemed like these two were dead set on not getting along, and Terri made a huge mistake by tearing into Keith on the runway. Since I always harp on Kenley for being unprofessional, I have to be fair and also say that Terri was extremely unprofessional in this episode.

Having said that, I don't believe teamwork was listed as a criterion for the judging this time around, but it seems like Terri went primarily because of her little catwalk catfight. Because really, this look is not as horrid as the judges made it seem. Sure, it deserved to be in the bottom half, primarily because of those weird shoulders. (Why does avant-garde = poofy shoulders for these people?) I kinda liked the bodice though, and the shape on the hem is interesting, although it looks a bit uneven. Considering the crap that Kenley and Suede churned out, Terri's aufing was bullshit. It's small comfort, but at least I prognosticated her unjust departure a while back.

sigh.

Next week: I don't remember what happened in the preview, but Suede is still around, so it'll probably be annoying and laden with stories about how his dead goldfish inspired him to add scales to his dress. Then Jerell will say something vaguely witty he dreamed up months before the show started and was just waiting for a chance to use. He will style his model's hair like Marge Simpson and the judges will give it a standing ovation. Kenley will cry and yell at the judges after she sends the same dress down the runway again for the nth week in a row, and then she'll probably win. Joe will continue to hide in the corner and say nothing, except perhaps a disparaging anti-gay comment here and there. Then, Korto and Leanne will get double auf'd, because the judges are deadset on pissing me off.

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