Arsenic and Old Face

Best of 2010 Playlist

2010-12-29T22:17:00.004-05:00

Look who hasn't posted in a year! And yeah, I probably won't start posting again with any regularity (I'd be shocked if it were before the end of 2011), but my love of list-making has temporarily brought me back. In the next few days, I'll throw together my Top 10 albums of the year, but for now, you'll have to tide yourself over with my playlist of my favorite songs of the year. (Streamable at the link!) 17 songs, 79 minutes, nothing but awesomeness. Only rule: One song per artist. Also, this isn't a ranking - it's just how these particular songs fit together best as a mix. Click through if you care about my rationale for my choices, but if you want to go straight to jamming out, I won't blame you.

1. Odessa by Caribou

Best dance song about a woman leaving her husband ever? Probably so. I love the way new elements are continually introduced, thus making what seems like a repetitive song anything but. Also, according to iTunes, this is my most listened-to song of the year! Exciting.

2. Alive by Goldfrapp

An example of a good-to-great song that's elevated by an awesome video.

3. Power by Kanye West

It was a tough choice between this and "Runaway," but this (a) flows a little better on a mix and (b) is probably the best example of the contrast between the arrogance and insecurity that makes My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy such an interesting album. Plus: that beat.

4. CMYK by James Blake

An electronic track that features warped samples from "Caught Out There" by Kelis and "Are You That Somebody?" by Aaliyah? Sign me up. James Blake released three excellent EPs this year, and I'm pumped for his first full album next year.

5. Got Nuffin by Spoon

"Got Nuffin" comes near the end of Transference, and it's as close as the album comes to releasing the tension that builds up throughout its runtime. Fortunately, it holds up out of context, with its chugging guitar line and Britt Daniel's impassioned vocal keeping things interesting.

6. Aminals by Baths

(sic.) A great little electronic ditty that wouldn't be out of place on a Boards of Canada album, if they were still making albums. Bonus points for a genuinely sweet (as opposed to creepy) use of children's vocals.

7. Pow Pow by LCD Soundsystem

James Murphy free associates about the compromises that come with getting older (and a whole lot more, like how we have a black president and you do not, so shut up), getting more riled up as the music builds and builds until it reaches a classic LCD Soundsystem release. It's probably not the best song on This is Happening, but it's the one I returned to the most.

8. Fuck You by Cee-Lo Green

What else can I add that hasn't already been said? SO FUN.

9. Dancing On My Own by Robyn

Proof that pop music can have a heart. This song should've been huuuuge, but Robyn is just a little too out there for the American pop scene. I still dance around every time I hear this, even if that's just a head bob on the Metro.

10. Take 'Em Up by Shit Robot

Nancy Whang, DFA's go-to female vocalist, delivers one of her best performances on this track, spouting non sequiturs over a great retro-but-not-too-retro beat. No deeper meaning here, but that's just fine when things come together this well.

11. Tightrope (feat. Big Boi) by Janelle Monae

It's hard to pick one track to represent Janelle, but this is the catchiest and the sassiest song she served up this year, and as an intro, it gives a nice window into the weird, wonderful world of The Archandroid. Also: classy brass.

12. I'm New Here by Gil Scott-Heron

Between the sample on Kanye's album and his own release, it looks like Gil! Scott! Heron! is back in a big way. A surprisingly touching song from an unexpected source.

13. Not in Love (feat. Robert Smith) by Crystal Castles

This remake of an solid-but-unremarkable song from Crystal Castles' second self-titled album shows the importance of a) lots of synths, and b) a killer vocal. Who knew Robert Smith could still sound so good? (Apparently Crystal Castles did.)

14. Only an Expert by Laurie Anderson

I'll probably lose some folks here, but I continue to love Laurie. Although this is a bit more direct than most of her work, I don't think it suffers for it; if anything, the urgency and immediacy make it stand out from her other output, and it shows off her unique brand of humor and delivery to great effect.

15. I Walked by Sufjan Stevens

So many artists resort to electronic glitchery when they're out of ideas, but Sufjan really knows how to use it to enhance a song. Here, the fuzzed out drum machines and bleeps and bloops really drive home the melancholic beauty of the song.

16. Decisions (feat. Yuksel Arslan) by How to Dress Well

Who would've thought some of the best R&B of 2010 would come from a German dude?

17. Take It In by Hot Chip

Best closing song of 2010. Best love song that mentions Wheel of Fortune. Most endearingly earnest chorus of the year. A perfect note to go out on.

Best of 09!

2010-01-04T17:30:00.000-05:00

Is it too late to post my "Best of 2009" playlist? No? Good! I realize I'm a bit behind, but it's a small miracle for me to even post these days, so I'm going to give myself a pass on this.

Instead of doing a Top Songs or Top Albums list this year, I've chosen to create a playlist that I feel is pretty representative of what I've listened to and enjoyed in 2009. Lists seem to imply that I've listened to and judged all of the musical output of the last year, which unfortunately couldn't be further from the truth. Instead, I've stuck with a lot of stuff that's already in my wheelhouse (about 2/3 of the songs are pretty synth-heavy - what can I say, I love keyboards) while taking in the stuff that couldn't be avoided (Phoenix, Animal Collective). Some of the songs are pretty obvious choices, while I'd like to think that at least a few are somewhat unexpected.

Just to reiterate: These are not my 17 favorite songs from 2009. Instead, they are a reasonably coherent mix that I will be content to listen to in years to come and think, "Ah, 2009. I guess that was a decent music year." I've put together a streamable playlist of the songs here:
Best of 2009! by Brian (I had to sign up for MySpace to make this happen. UGH.) I hope you'll enjoy it; I still do, even though I've listened to it about 20 times as I've been putting it together.

For more thoughts on my song selection, click through:

Zero by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
I've never been a huge YYYs fan, but as I blogged about earlier in the year, It's Blitz won me over. "Zero" probably should've been at least a minor hit, with it's surging chorus and catchy hooks, but alas, Karen O is too scary or something.

I Will Come Back by Holy Ghost!
These people need to put out more music so I can proclaim them my new favorite band on the basis of more than a couple songs. If New Order hadn't started sucking in the mid-90s, maybe this is how they'd sound today.

Summer Song by YACHT
This song makes me jump around whenever I hear it. I especially love the mid-song breakdown. Also, the video is awesome. I guess this came out in mid-2008, but the album came out this year, so I'm calling it fair game. (Unfortunately, I couldn't find a streamable version on MySpace, so on that list, I replaced "Summer Song" with "Psychic City," which is also by YACHT and is quite enjoyable.)

Danse Mes Reves by Desire
This latest group from Johnny Jewel, the man behind Glass Candy and Chromatics, Desire treads a middle ground between the two, offering wispy vocals and a chilled-out vibe without being boring.

Skeleton Boy by Friendly Fires
This was my early pick for song of the year - it's no longer quite that high in my book, but I still think it's pretty great. That chorus kills me every time.

Bye Bye Bayou by LCD Soundsystem
At first, I was disappointed in this, our sneak peek for the upcoming LCD Soundsystem album. But, as it always seems to happen with LCD Soundsystem, it wormed its way into my head, and I reveled in its repetition and slow burn. I think it's surprisingly subtle for James Murphy, and hopefully is a harbinger of great things in 2010.

Crystalised by The XX
I'm still torn on whether or not I really think The XX's debut album is as great as everyone's saying (I'm leaning toward no, although I enjoy it) but if it all sounded as urgent and interesting as "Crystalised," I might be more inclined in their favor. The first time the guitars prominently come in at the chorus is still a fairly thrilling moment for me.

Laughing with a Mouth of Blood by St. Vincent
St. Vincent's Actor would be my pick for album of the year if I had to choose; it's fascinating, catchy, and reveals something new on each listen. This song is a perfect example; although it initially didn't make much of a mark for me, I've come to love it. It glides in and out in just over 3 minutes, but quite convincingly shows off St. Vincent's gift for clever lyrics and soaring melodies without overstaying its welcome.

My Girls by Animal Collective
Yes, yes, Animal Collective is a super-obvious choice. There's a reason they, and this song in particular, have received so much praise this year, and it's because they deserve it.

Raindrops by Basement Jaxx
Autotune that doesn't suck!

1901 by Phoenix
It could be credibly argued that pretty much every Phoenix song sounds more or less the same; I don't necessarily agree, but I don't think Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix is that different than their past work (and I actually preferred It's Never Been Like That on the whole.) I think the difference is that "1901" and "Lisztomania" are just that undeniable - even if Phoenix wasn't doing it for you before, it's hard to not love these two tracks. "1901" gets the slight edge from me.

Should Have Taken Acid With You by Neon Indian
I've never felt so much like a band was targeting me with an album as I did with Neon Indian and Psychic Chasms. Burbling synths, murmured vocals, drum machines... I'd probably make this album if I were capable of artistic ventures such as this. I could probably listen to "Should Have Taken Acid With You" ten times in a row and not tire of it.

I Feel Cream by Peaches
I will passionately argue that Peaches made a big leap forward this year with I Feel Cream, her fourth album. The title track is especially emblematic of the musical maturity she achieved on this record: she sings (and it's good!), the production doesn't sound like it swam in a sea of syringes, and she still retains her trademark attitude without retreading old ground.

Monster by Lady GaGa
It was Lady GaGa's year, and it was well-deserved. This song better be a big hit in 2010.

The Girl and the Robot by Royksopp (feat. Robyn)
I was fairly disappointed in Royksopp's album this year. I had high hopes, but only this track really reached greatness, mainly thanks to Robyn delivering an astonishing lead vocal that just avoids being overstated. (Or maybe it's overstated in a good way?)

Get Older by Dan Deacon
Six and a half minutes of raucous, noise-filled joy, and it doesn't care whether you like it or not.

Gimme Sympathy by Metric
Although I realize that this is a somewhat silly and cliched song, no song was there for me more this year, and if I had to rank my favorite songs of 2009, this would be at the top. I've said to people on multiple occasions that this song got me through the end of grad school, and while that's probably an exaggeration, it certainly played its part. I can't satisfactorily explain why I love this song as much as I do, but from the opening notes, I'm caught up in it, and I'm bobbing my head and I swell up and I sing along, and I'm feeling great. Every time.

Diagramming Won't Help This Situation

2009-10-20T10:50:00.003-04:00

It's been over 3 months since I last posted, and I know a poem barely counts as a post, but I really really liked it and identified with it and maybe it'll get me back on the blogging bandwagon. Here you go:

Diagramming Won’t Help This Situation
by Kevin Brown

Grammatical rules have always baffled
me, leaving me wondering whether my
life is transitive or intransitive, if I am the
subject or object of my life, and no one
has been able to provide words to describe
my actions, even if they do end in –ly.

But now the problem seems to be with
pronouns: I am unwilling to be him
and you are unable to be her, so we
will never be them~the ones talking
about what they need from the grocery

store because the Rogers are coming for
dinner tonight; the couple saving for a
vacation, perhaps a cruise to Alaska or a
museum tour of Europe; the two who meet
with a financial advisor to plan their children's

college fund while still managing to set enough
aside for their retirement~and so we will
continue to be nothing more than sentence
fragments, perfectly fine for effect,
but forever looking for the missing
part of speech we can never seem to find.

Skating Rap Babies Love Bottled Water

2009-07-14T11:52:00.002-04:00

Watch this:

Am I the only one who's a little creeped out by this? I think I'm in the uncanny valley here. (Yes, I only know what that is because of 30 Rock.) Also, bottled water is evil.

When Going To Church Isn't Enough

2009-07-13T09:00:00.000-04:00

Did you hear? God's on Facebook!

The person who created that page sure has some hubris. Also, "Become a fan of God" is just too silly of a sentence.

I Have Something In Common With A Sick Pug

2009-07-01T11:48:00.005-04:00

We each puked on the NYC L Train between Bedford and First! However, the police didn't threaten to put me down when I did it, nor did they arrest my friend who provided me a bag in which to vom. Also, he probably had more right to do it; I was just hungover.

(Okay, so that's not the pug in question, but ain't he cute?)

Surprise! Your Food System is Unsustainable

2009-06-29T13:45:00.002-04:00

"Food, Inc." is a very well-done, well-intentioned, informative film, and if you've done any sort of reading about the American food system over the past five years, you don't need to see it.

The movie functions as sort of a "greatest hits" of food issues; the film is composed of several segments, each one detailing a different problem. (America is run by corn! Monsanto is evil! Animals are treated badly!) This scattered approach is both its strength and weakness; it'd be an excellent first exposure to these matters for anyone who isn't aware of these issues, but it's much more likely that those who are seeing it are already quite into this stuff and won't get much more out of it. About half of it is pretty much just The Omnivore's Dilemma in movie form, complete with Michael Pollan interviews and a visit to Polyface Farm, and the other half covers the intellectual property issues that were already covered in more detail in The Future of Food. There's also some stuff about how terrible fast food is, featuring Eric Schlosser, author of Fast Food Nation. To its credit, the film does conclude with steps you can take to help solve the problem, but it basically boils down to "Buy organic" and "Shop at a farmer's market."

Despite this seemingly negative review, I think Food, Inc. would be a great introduction to these matters for the unaware, but if you've seen/read any of the above materials, it's probably not worth your money to run out and see it. However, if you need a refresher on how fucked up things are, by all means, check it out.

What Else is in the Teaches of Peaches?

2009-06-22T12:07:00.003-04:00

Last Wednesday, I was lucky enough to see Peaches perform at the 9:30 Club here in DC (an excellent venue, I must say.) It was awesome. Click through for my review (containing NSFW language, but hey, no one's looking at your screen that closely.)

As the lights dimmed around midnight, a song began playing over the loudspeakers - it was Peaches singing "I Touch Myself," which while extremely obvious, was still highly amusing. She then ran out and performed two songs from her excellent new album, "I Feel Cream," and asked the crowd, "Are you ready to get fucked in the ass by Peaches?!" The crowd responded enthusiastically. This set the tone for the night, and if you're more uncomfortable than amused, then this probably wasn't the show for you. BUT I LOVED IT. Here are some other awesome things that happened:

- While singing "Operate" (the one from Mean Girls!) she crowd-surfed while holding a digital camera, even standing up on the hands of audience members.
- During "Mud," she ran around the balcony of the club, periodically stopping to straddle the railing.
- At the start of "Talk to Me," her latest single, she announced she had cousins in DC. Two ladies in bikinis and Cousin Itt wigs came out and performed a disinterested dance while Peaches shouted, "Why don't you talk to me?" at them. It was awesome.
- "Fuck the Pain Away" was the last song of her main set, naturally, and she started it by standing on the bass drum of the drum set and saying "I want you all to look at the peach!" A light in the vaginal area of her bodysuit then began to blink rapidly. She then deep-throated a drumstick before angrily banging on a cymbal during the song.
- Oh yeah, there were like, 4 encores too. She expressed how "hardcore" the audience was before telling us it was the longest show she had played all tour. Holler.

So yeah, it was a pretty fantastic show. She played material from every album, and even songs like "Rock and Roll" which didn't impress me much in their studio incarnations were good fun live. She's definitely not for everyone, but if you can handle over-the-top and over-sexualized, get thee to a Peaches show.

Old Jews Telling Jokes

2009-06-17T10:00:00.000-04:00

A friend recently turned me on to a website/podcast called "Old Jews Telling Jokes," which is exactly what it sounds like. I have yet to encounter a joke that wasn't absolutely charming, and most they're never longer than a couple minutes. Highly recommended. Here's a recent favorite of mine:

In It For the Eggs

2009-06-16T14:17:00.002-04:00

I just listened to a fascinating interview of Woody Allen conducted by Terry Gross on Fresh Air. As a huge Woody fan, I wasn't quite sure what to make of it; he goes out of his way to insist that he's just a regular guy who drinks beer and watches sports, but then at the end of the interview, identifies two artsy Ingmar Bergman movies (The Seventh Seal and Shame) as some of the movies he's watched the most. He also says he was always the first kid picked for a team and was never poor, but then talks about how his father held several jobs and his mother always had to work as well. He's probably just making shit up, but if you're into him, it's an entertaining, enigmatic perspective of the man that I certainly haven't considered before. Give it a listen!

Drag Bingo!

2009-06-11T18:10:00.005-04:00

If you're reading this, you're probably already my friend and probably know that I recently moved to Washington, DC. Well, I recently did something fantastic that I could not have done in my previous homes; I attended drag bingo! Yes, on Tuesday night, I went with some friends to Drag Bingo at Nellie's, our local gay sports bar. It was hosted by these two fabulous ladies:

Shi-Queeta-Lee, and...

Akasha S. Cassadine!

Now at it's core, this event is just bingo being conducted by drag queens, but the following things greatly elevated the event:

- Shi-Queeta-Lee was on something, thus causing her to be even more insane than usual. She made a few references to giving out pot as a prize, but I think it was something stronger, based on her behavior.

- It was some girl's birthday; Shi-Queeta-Lee first called her Ugly Betty and then convinced her to flash her boobs to the bar. In return, the girl was given a bucket of beers.

- Shi-Queeta-Lee also removed the shirt from a straight guy who was silly enough to admit to being straight. He was a great sport about it, though, and I question his proclaimed heterosexuality; when he bumped into my roommate while trying to sit down, he said, "Sorry honey, I have a fat ass."

-And most importantly, my roommate won a waffle iron! Drag queen-supplied waffle brunch is totally on this weekend.

So yeah, it was a great time. If you're in DC on a Tuesday, you should go. Yay city life.

Phoenix Down

2009-06-08T10:00:00.000-04:00

So I realize it's been over a month since I last blogged, but I'M BACK YA'LL and I've got a great video of a kitten hiding in a couch:

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

2009-05-06T15:25:00.003-04:00

It's been a while since I last posted. As it turns out, finishing up the last weeks of grad school takes up a lot of time, but now in addition to intermittent blogger, I can add Master of Science to my resume. Holler. I may write more about this and I may not.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, look at this picture:

That's right, Michelle Obama just got more fabulous. She's making an appearance on Sesame Street, and from the looks of that basket of anthropomorphized food, will be discussing eating healthy things that grow in gardens! God I love this woman. LOVE.

Forty Days of Foliage: Conclusion

2009-04-12T00:18:00.003-04:00

It's 12:18 on Easter morning, which means two things: Jesus is back and I can eat meat again. So far, I have celebrated by eating a couple leftover chicken nachos from my brother's fridge. Yum. Yes, I'm going back to meat (at least in limited capacity), but I think I've gained some new perspective:

- I no longer fear cooking tofu. (And I'll buy it because I like it, not because I see it as a substitute.)
- I've learned that I can get pretty inventive with the same three or four vegetables.
- I will no longer feel weird about ordering non-meat dishes in restaurants.
- I'm probably not going to cook meat very often. And when I do, I'm going to try to get it from local/more sustainable sources.
- I'm going to hold myself to a loose "Meat Only Once a Week" diet, making exceptions for dinner parties (I feel bad inconveniencing others) and cravings. (This will not hold this week - I will be presenting my master's project on Thursday and taking great comfort in burgers and such until then.)
- On a broader level, I have willpower! I held out for 40+ days, and it wasn't even that hard.

And so the experiment ends. I applaud myself.

She Crazy

2009-04-09T12:32:00.003-04:00

I've mentioned before my love for Lady GaGa. I just found another reason to love her more:

My Thoughts:
1.) Electric piano does not equal acoustic.
2.) Foot on piano does equal awesome.
3.) I want to be her best friend.

A Study in Contrasts

2009-04-08T15:08:00.003-04:00

There are two big stories about the gays in the New York Times today. The first, which you're probably more aware of, is about the possibility of more victories on the gay marriage front due to the recent excitement in Iowa, Vermont, and to a lesser extent, DC. Here's a key portion, although the entire article is definitely worth reading:

New York, New Jersey, Maine and New Hampshire are among the states where such proposals have gained legislative support in recent months.

“This is a reminder to those legislatures that they should finish the job,” said Evan Wolfson, executive director of Freedom to Marry, a national advocacy group based in New York. “Contrary to the claims made by the opponents of equality, it’s not just judges, it’s not just the coasts, and it’s not just going away.”

This is truly very exciting, and even though it's all very Northeast-based at the moment (Iowa excluded, natch), it's still very heartening to see this all happening (and so quickly!). However, I then flipped over to this article about how openly gay men in Iraq are being systematically murdered:

In the past two months, the bodies of as many as 25 boys and men suspected of being gay have turned up in the huge Shiite enclave of Sadr City, the police and friends of the dead say. Most have been shot, some multiple times. Several have been found with the word “pervert” in Arabic on notes attached to their bodies, the police said.

...

“I don’t care about the militias anymore, because they’re going to kill me anyway — today, tomorrow or the day after,” said a man named Sa’ad, who has been taking estrogen and has developed small breasts. “I hate my community and my relatives. If they had their way, the result would be one gunshot.”

I suddenly felt really guilty for caring about getting married. I know I shouldn't, but it's hard to get excited about my theoretical husband when there are people in similar situations getting killed for their openness. I don't mean this as a buzzkill, though; by all means, let's all get gay married! Let's just not forget what's going on elsewhere.

Off With Your Head

2009-04-08T09:04:00.000-04:00

I was not really a Yeah Yeah Yeahs (YYYs hereafter for brevity's sake) fan upon hearing "Date with the Night," the band's first single. In fact, I kind of hated it. I can handle screamy and abrasive, but to me, it was, "Look at how screamy and abrasive we are!" without anything interesting about it. I had written the band off when I heard "Maps," which went a long way toward rehabilitating them for me, but I considered it mostly a fluke and continued to mostly ignore their output.

This began to change, however, when I heard a review of the new YYYs album, It's Blitz!, on the NPR show Sound Opinions, in which the hosts each gave it a "Buy It" ranking (their highest mark). The song clips intrigued me, so I sought out the album, and whoa do I love it.

It's Blitz! shows a dancier, calmer, more vulnerable side to the band that is instantly becoming after the borderline obnoxious swagger of their past output. There are a number of surprisingly affecting ballads, in which Karen O. shows off the yearning and likability we first saw in "Maps." The best of these is "Hysteric," which is so successful in winning you over that you don't really notice the cliched nature of lines such as "You suddenly complete me." (Close second: "Runaway," which is propelled by an aching piano line and moody synth strings.)

There's still some edge to the sound, lest ye be concerned the YYYs have lost their edge. "Dull Life" is yelping and energetic without being grating, and lead single "Zero" is probably the most instantly exciting song on the album. The best track on the album is of this vein: "Heads Will Roll" features Karen declaring "Off with your head/dance 'til your dead" over a thumping disco beat and it's awesome. (This may have to be my new life motto.)

How you feel about this album will probably have a lot to do with what you thought of prior YYYs work. If you're one of those "Date with the Night" fans, you might see this as a cop-out from the band, or even worse, a mellowing with age. However, for me, It's Blitz! is just a refinement of their earlier sound to something more interesting, engaging, and ultimately, more satisfying.

You should probably get it.

You are the Blood

2009-04-01T09:52:00.000-04:00

You may have heard of the excellent new compilation "Dark Was The Night," put out by Red Hot to raise funds for AIDS research. It's not amazing from start to finish, but there are a ton of great bands on here (Arcade Fire, Spoon, Grizzly Bear), some pleasant surprises (My Brightest Diamond's cover of "Feeling Good" - I thought I was too attached to the Nina version, but I guess I was wrong), and only a minimal amount of Feist and Ben Gibbard to sit through. It's pretty much a white person's wet dream. The highlight for me, though, is Sufjan Stevens's epic contribution "You are the Blood."

I've been a Sufjan fan since Michigan came out; although the initial draw was "omg someone made an album about my state," I've stuck with him over the years and can even admit that Illinois was better than Michigan. I got sort of Sufjan-ed out for a while, though, as he became more ubiquitous (I blame Little Miss Sunshine) and then seemed to disappear. But with this new track, I'm ready to hop back on board.

"You are the Blood," at just over ten minutes long, is possibly the strangest song of Sufjan's career. I just tried to type out a description of it, but it doesn't really do the song justice; one can't get a sense of this without giving it a listen. (Multiple times. The first is sort of overwhelming.) It encapsulates pretty much every phase of Sufjan's career: meandering Michigan-esque moments, the dense electronic blasts of Enjoy Your Rabbit, and the bombastically orchestrated Illinois are all showcased to great effect. If this is where Sufjan is heading, I think we all have reason to get excited about him again.

(PS: I've uploaded the mp3 for you! It looks like it can only be downloaded ten times, but go here to download it. Run! Don't walk!)

Forty Days of Foliage: Day 34

2009-03-31T08:40:00.001-04:00

Sorry for the lack of updates, folks; it turns out things get busy as you near the end of your graduate education. I realized, though, that I haven't updated ya'll on the status of my vegetarianism for a while. I have accomplished the following vegetarian feats since my last post:

- I made a dish with tofu! Yes, it was a stir fry and basically impossible to screw up, but it tasted good and therefore represented a major coup for me. Next, I intend to try this dish that Nanc TWoP recommended/commented on. (On a side note, someone from TWoP found my blog and felt the urge to comment? Awesome.)
- I also made a cabbage and potato soup, representing the second time in my life I've made a soup from scratch. Unfortunately, I only had chicken bouillon cubes, so I had to cheat a little bit when making it (I didn't even have other veggies with which I could have made stock), but I'm not going to count it as a major failure on my part. It was quite good and fed me for several days.
- However, my biggest adventure recently was when I made kale chips. Yes, I had an abundance of kale and needed creative ways to use it beyond things like "kale rice," so I gave this a go. I used balsamic vinegar instead of the apple cider vinegar the recipe calls for, but I have to say, they turned out very well. They have a very potato chip-like texture, but with a greener flavor, obviously. It's worth a go if you have more kale than you can handle.

I've realized my self-imposed vegetarianism is soon coming to a close (Easter is two weeks from this last Sunday), and honestly, it hasn't been that difficult. Yes, there have been times I've really craved meat, but the occasional fish tends to ward that sensation off quite handily. Also, I'm pretty sure I've lost some weight; now, those of you who know me know that I have no need to lose weight, but I also don't mind the thought of losing unnecessary meat pockets. Now I just need to develop some muscle. Next Lent: giving up sedentary-ness.

Inch by Inch, Row by Row

2009-03-20T17:49:00.002-04:00

In case you haven't heard, Michelle Obama has given us yet another reason to love her: she's planting a vegetable garden at the White House! Some choice quotes from the NYT article:

“A real delicious heirloom tomato is one of the sweetest things that you’ll ever eat,” she said. “And my children know the difference, and that’s how I’ve been able to get them to try different things.

“I wanted to be able to bring what I learned to a broader base of people. And what better way to do it than to plant a vegetable garden in the South Lawn of the White House?”

“You can begin in your own cupboard,” she said, “by eliminating processed food, trying to cook a meal a little more often, trying to incorporate more fruits and vegetables.”

LOVE YOU MICHELLE.

Life's A Drag

2009-03-19T12:01:00.006-04:00

I've been thinking about drag a lot lately.

No, not that kind.

Not that drag either.

Yes, that's the one.

Yes, I've recently spent a lot of time ruminating about drag queens. This has mostly been spurred on by the superb reality show RuPaul's Drag Race, which is sort of the drag queen version of America's Next Top Model, but 100x better. (If you haven't seen it, all the episodes are online at the offical site.) While watching, I've come to realize the extent to which I think drag is an important part of gay culture, although I'm still having a hard time articulating why.

I think what I like about drag is that it's still something very "other" for our community. The gay movement is becoming more and more about gaining equal rights and assimilating into society as a whole, and while I think this is an admirable goal, I still like the idea of having something for ourselves. Drag fits that niche for me; it's something fabulous and strange and wonderful that many straight people just don't get. For example, when the drag episode of Project Runway aired last year, my mom expressed her concern at the preview, saying that the queens were "sort of scary." (She ended up enjoying it, though.) I like that notion of maintaining something important to gay history (Legend has it that a drag queen threw the first stone at Stonewall) as we move forward, even if I'm possibly being deliberately separatist from the larger heterosexual community.

Of course, lest I get too weighed down by lofty rhetoric about the virtues of drag, I also have to point out that it's just really fun. There's nothing quite like a really good drag performance; it's hilarious, entertaining, interesting and makes you want to give the performer your money. Plus, drag queens are some of the wittiest folks around. For example, observe this interaction between a Canadian drag queen named Fahren Heit and a patron in the crowd who was wearing a pink plaid shirt:

Fahren: Are you a top or a bottom?
Guy: Um, I can do either.
Fahren: Honey, you don't wear a gay tablecloth to the bar and pretend like you're a top.

All this thinking has led me to consider the obvious question: would I be a good drag queen? I like to think I can be rather wittily caustic when I need to be and I'm pretty good in heels, but that's about where it ends. I don't think I'd make a very attractive queen, and I'd probably want to lip-sync Kate Bush or Adult. or something else entirely drag-inappropriate. (Although when I dance to "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga, it gets pretty draggy.) Plus, when you're a queen, everyone comes after you. Straight society thinks you're crazy and bitchy patrons think you're not doing a good enough job. (I speak as a bitchy patron, although I've never told a queen she wasn't good.) I wouldn't be able to handle the pressure. (However, the Rupaul's Drag Race Drag Name Generator on Facebook told me that if I were to be a queen, my drag name would be Barbara Seville. I like it.)

In conclusion, I encourage you to show your appreciation for your neighborhood drag queen. Shout "WORK!" at her when she does something great. Tell her she looks fabulous. Give her air kisses, and if she's feeling touchy, a light hug. She'll appreciate the attention.

Tobias Funke Moment of the Day

2009-03-18T11:40:00.003-04:00

Guy in my Class:

I think sustainability is going to have to hurt, you know? It's not going to be easy. We're just going to have to suck it up and take one in the face.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2009-03-17T09:00:00.000-04:00

For St. Patrick's Day, I would like to share with you the greatest thing ever. Enjoy this video of the Swedish Chef, Animal, and Beaker singing "Danny Boy." It's amazing.

Forty Days of Foliage: Day 18

2009-03-14T14:17:00.003-04:00

Vegetarianism continues to be both difficult and not much of a problem at all. My main concern is that I'm not being terribly inventive about what I eat. My most common dish seems to follow this pattern:

- Find what vegetables are in the fridge.
- Chop them up.
- Saute them.
- Put them over rice/pasta.

While this is often tasty, I can't help feeling like I could be more creative about this. I'm going to make a big cabbage soup soon, so that'll be something new, and I still have to try and cook tofu, which I'm somewhat afraid of. (It just seems so... tricky.) Restaurants continue to be somewhat obnoxious; salads are good, but other dishes are less satisfying. (Example: Veggie sub.)

Overall, though, this has been not very difficult, and I'm considering it extending it past Lent in slightly modified fashion. Perhaps just meat once a week?

In Heavy Rotation: Electroladies

2009-03-10T16:10:00.003-04:00

As promised, here is the second of the two playlists I recently created. I like to call it Electroladies. Yes, my other way of coping with sadness is by listening to angry/sassy women set to dance/electronic music.

A few thoughts: Although I wouldn't really call these happy songs (Well, "Hey Mami" is pretty fun), I tried to make less bleak selections as compared to my pouty list. Also, I opted for a couple remixes instead of the originals due to the need for increased danceability. (Plus, Fred Falke makes everything better.) What I really like about this list is that I would absolutely listen to it while feeling down, but I would just as easily rock it while getting ready to go out. Woo multi-purpose.

And yes, "Poker Face" is everywhere these days. I still love it.

The Big 1-0-0

2009-03-10T09:00:00.000-04:00

I'm surprised to have gotten here, but this is my HUNDREDTH POST. I got myself a card:

I thought the best way to commemorate this big event would be to highlight some of my favorite of the last 100 posts. Here they are, in chronological order:

AaOF: It's Here! - posted 7/31/2008
My first post! Although it's nothing too special, it does have a picture of Rahm Emanuel and John Dingell awkwardly posing with paczkis.

Brian in the Hot Dog Joint with the Crossword Puzzle
- posted 8/26/2008
My first (and perhaps only?) truly great post, if I do say so myself. It contains three of my favorite things: greasy food, crossword puzzles, and Clue.

How Tina Fey is Saving America - posted 10/14/2008
In which I irrefutably prove that Tina Fey is responsible for Barack Obama's victory in the presidential election.

Got You Pegged - posted 1/5/2009
In which I irrefutably prove that Usher likes it up the butt.

There's No Place Like Home (two parter) - posted 3/6/2009
Sure, this one just happened, but I'd like to think that something good came out of that trek.

Anyway, thanks for those of you who have been reading, and hopefully, I'll make it to the next hundred a bit more quickly.

In Heavy Rotation: Pouts

2009-03-09T09:00:00.000-04:00

So, as I mentioned in my last posts, one of the ways I passed my time in the Providence airport was by making a couple playlists. Given that I was (and still sort of am) feeling rather down at the time, they each reflect a different way I cope with my pouty moods. The first, which I'm going to share with you today, is what you would probably expect: mostly downtempo, mostly sad, pretty much a wallowfest. I tried to at least cover a wide range of sadness, though, so we have breakups, mourning, poverty, loneliness... but I swear, it's still good music.

A few thoughts on this list: All of these songs are a bit bleaker than I actually feel, but some do feel more directly applicable than others (It's sort of like Nina is singing on my behalf). I tried to throw in some stuff that's at least uptempo so as to not get too miserable, but I still went for melancholy throughout. Anyway, check back tomorrow for a very special double dose of In Heavy Rotation, which should be significantly less emo. (At least, less emo in spirit; none of this music could be called emo genre-wise, thank God. I'm not that upset.)

There's No Place Like Home: Act III

2009-03-06T09:01:00.003-05:00

If you haven't read Part I yet, you can find it here.

Act III – Tuesday, March 3, 2009

“How the fuck am I not home yet?” – Me, that morning

Scene I – Cincinnati Holiday Inn/Cincinnati Airport

I managed to get some sleep, having a strange dream about my cousin’s children that involved spilled donuts, before waking up at 4:35 to catch the 5:30 shuttle to the airport. I’m glad I gave myself all that time, because I’m pretty sure I fell asleep for a few 2-3 minute snatches while in the shower. I made my way downstairs to check out, and on the way, after a piece of muzak heard the Rae & Christian remix of Dinah Washington’s “Is You Is or Is You Ain’t My Baby?” which kind of made my morning. (Listen here.) The airport was largely empty, which made sense when I learned that our flight was the first of the day. (I know there’s no reason for that to be a source of pride, but in my semi-delirious state, I did in fact puff up a bit upon hearing this.) As I walked down the stretch to my gate, that awful James Taylor song where he’s all, “Shower the people you love with love/show them the way that you feel,” played, and it took me back to childhood car rides where my parents would play that tape, and for a bit, I was almost comforted. But then Foo Fighters came on, and moment ruined.

Scene II. Flight from Cincinnati to Detroit

On the plane, I sat next to a nice hospital administrator named Mohammed who had an even worse travel story than me; he had been trapped in Denver the night before, and then Cincinnati, all in an effort to get from Las Vegas to Buffalo. We chatted briefly, and it struck me as odd that he seemed reluctant to say the word Detroit; instead, he kept calling it “Motown.” (Ex: "I would sure hate to get stuck in Motown. Not much to do in Motown.") For the first time in a while (I’m generally not awake in time for such events), I saw a sunrise, and while it was through streaks of de-icing fluid, it was still quite beautiful. As we neared Detroit, the sunlight reflected off of factories directly on Lake Michigan spewing large plumes of smoke, and although still horrified, I took some solace in knowing I was home.

Scene III. Detroit Airport/Bus to Ann Arbor/HOME

At the airport, I had to wait a couple hours before I could catch my bus back to Ann Arbor, so I deliberately took it slow as a test of my patience. (I’ll usually walk as fast as I can even when I have no destination.) I had to walk through this large tunnel at the airport I wasn’t aware existed; strange music played while lights on the wall flashed in time with various musical occurrences, which was rather trippy in my overtired state. I remember thinking it was like a demented Space Mountain fun house.

Someone else's video of the tunnel:

I then sat, called several friends trying to find someone to pick me up in Ann Arbor, and tried not to pass out. The bus arrived, I got on, I fell asleep, I got dropped off, a friend picked me up, and then I was home. Never had I been so excited to be back in Michigan.

In the process of traveling home, I used the following forms of transit: subway, commuter train, airport shuttle (three times!), airplane, charter bus, and private vehicle. Not to mention all the walking. And now, I will never travel again. Ya'll are gonna have to come to me.

There's No Place Like Home: Acts I and II

2009-03-06T09:00:00.001-05:00

So I had a hell of a time getting home from my spring break. I decided to type up an excessively prolix travel diary of sorts, which I've broken up into two parts due to length. Enjoy!

There’s No Place Like Home: A Tragicomedy in Three Acts

Act I – Sunday, March 1, 2009

“Home is where I want to be; pick me up and turn me ‘round.” – Talking Heads, “This Must Be the Place (Naïve Melody)”

Our story begins in Boston (well, Cambridge, to be precise), where I was visiting a friend on spring break before things went terribly awry. It should be made clear: Sunday wasn’t a great day. Things with a romantic interest of mine became deromanticized over the course of the weekend, and then my laptop refused to turn on (just after being repaired). This was enough to cause something of a meltdown on my part, but of course, my flight home was then canceled due to an impending snowstorm. After a couple of maddening hours on the phone with a few different Delta agents, I managed to secure a new series of flights home. I would have to take a train to Providence, where I would catch a flight to Cincinnati, and then to my home airport of Detroit, arriving around 9:30 pm. “Well… I’ve never been to Rhode Island, I guess,” I thought, reaching for something positive.

Act II – Monday, March 2, 2009

“We’ve been on planes and on trains ‘til we think we might die.” – LCD Soundsystem, “North American Scum”

Scene I – Subway from Cambridge to Boston/Commuter Train from Boston to Providence

I trudged my way through the fresh snow, cursing it as I went for causing me both to lose my original, much simpler flight and get my jeans wet. Thankfully, the subway and commuter train were easy to find and use, and I even had time for an unsatisfying mozzarella sandwich at the Boston train station. (It was quite the inopportune time to have given up meat, I must say.) I had hoped the train ride would be scenic, but as it turns out, Massachusetts and Rhode Island, at least along the train tracks, just have lots of snow-covered trees with no leaves. Knowing that I would be returning to a similar environment in Michigan, I opted to sleep a bit. Upon arriving, I had to rush to catch a shuttle to the airport and almost ran over a bird in the train station with my rolling luggage. Although I thought I was hallucinating at first, I then noticed several other birds waddling around the station. Had I not been in a hurry, I might have investigated this phenomenon further, but home was more urgent than birds.

Scene II – Shuttle to Providence Airport/Loafing in Providence Airport/Flight from Providence to Cincinnati

I caught the van shuttle to the airport just in time, where I was able to listen to a man who apparently was some sort of weather deity rattle off information about the snowfalls in various northeastern cities. We quickly arrived at the rather beautiful Providence airport, where I settled in to wait for my flight. (I had a couple of hours still; I had given myself lots of time since it was all unfamiliar territory for me.) I called my brother, I read for a bit, I made a couple of playlists (which I will share with you soon!), I almost ate a burger before catching myself; it was actually almost relaxing. There was a brief moment of tension when I beat out an older gentleman for a wall outlet, but hey, my phone needed to charge. Sorry, Pops.

Of course, my relative serenity was not to last, as our flight became more and more delayed. I had about an hour between the original landing time and my connection, so I knew I had some time to give, but I was still nervous, and the old crazy lady behind me who gave occasional shouts of “THAT’S NOT OUR PLANE” every time a plane landed steadily increased my anxiety as we waited. We finally took off about an hour after our original departure time, and while on the plane, I had a brief Zen moment of things being out of my hands and feeling alright about it.

Scene III – Cincinnati Airport/Cincinnati Holiday Inn

I sprinted through the airport upon arrival, finding my gate quite deserted. I was given a new plane ticket for 6:40 am and hotel and meal vouchers by very kind Delta employees before being shuttled (again with the shuttles) off to the Cincinnati Holiday Inn (although apparently I was in Kentucky), where they put me up for the night. After a brief sob of frustration in my room, I went to use my meal vouchers on dinner, where for the third time in a very trying day, I did not succumb to my cravings for meat. (Well, not entirely. I ordered the very unsatisfying grilled salmon salad, since I’m allowing myself fish once a week. Sorry veggie friends, but this was necessary. It was almost a steak.) I called various friends to share my tale of horror, took a hot bath while blasting my brand new “Pouts” playlist on my iPod, watched some MSNBC (I’m sorry, but I just can’t get into Rachel Maddow), and went to bed. Despite my extreme exhaustion, I couldn’t sleep; my mind was still in overdrive, and beyond that, knowing I could only sleep for about 4 hours didn’t really comfort me.

Click here for part two.

Forty Days of Foliage: Day 8

2009-03-04T11:58:00.004-05:00

I have to apologize for the infrequent posting lately; last week was my spring break (and it was neither of those things), so I've been busyish. However, thanks to break, I have plenty to post about now (including a particularly traumatic traveling experience!) so be on the lookout for new content.

To begin, though, I want to say that yes, I am sticking with my attempted Lent vegetarianism! (And it lasted through the most singularly stressful experience of my recent life, which I assure you, will soon be blogged about in a most extraordinary fashion.) I'm not going to eat meat until April 12, which is Easter Sunday. My only exception is that I'm allowing myself 6 times that I eat fish, which averages out to just over one time a week. I've had fish once already, so I have five more allowances.

So far, I've mainly been eating at restaurants since I was not at home, so the difficulty has been dealing with the fact that at most places, I only have a handful of choices. In one way, this is sort of a relief, as I don't spend as much time agonizing, but it's also sort of cruel to have so many options that I want but can't have. I'm generally finding the vegetarian dishes to not be all that satisfying, but to use an exercise metaphor, I think I'm still in my initial soreness that comes when you start to work out, and then as I get more adjusted, it won't be as hard.

However, I think things will be tough all over again for a bit, because I just got home and I will now be mostly cooking for myself. I'm afraid I'm going to eat the same things over and over with not enough regard for nutrition, but I'm really going to try to diversify and (gasp!) try new things. Mainly, I need to learn how to consistently cook tofu well, because while I like it, it continues to somewhat mystify me.

So yes, I'm a week-old vegetarian. Applaud me!

I'm a Radio Superstar

2009-02-24T22:47:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, I appeared as a special guest on the WCBN environment-themed show "It's Hot in Here" as the "Style and Fashion and Celebrity Correspondent" to discuss celebrities and environmentalism in light of the de-greening of the Oscars on Sunday. You can listen to the episode here. Although the whole thing is interesting if you're down for an hour of eco-programming, you can skip to around the 13:00 mark to hear my segment. While you're there, post a comment about how you want me to make another appearance!

KITTENS

2009-02-17T14:00:00.000-05:00

I know this has been making the rounds, but if you haven't seen it yet, the following video is the greatest thing ever created by humanity and we should all give up trying to top it:

Best parts:

"I'm her mom!"
"No, she's not!"

and

"lalalalalalalalalalalalalala"

Introducing: Forty Days of Foliage

2009-02-17T09:00:00.000-05:00

I think I'm going to go vegetarian for Lent (2/25-4/12) this year. I don't eat a lot of meat as it is, but I'd like to eat even less, as it's not great for the body and it's even worse for the environment. It's something I've been wanting to try for a while, and while I'm not particularly devout, Lent provides a useful not-too-long, yet not-too-short time span for me to try this out. Although I don't feel like I could ever go completely vegetarian, I think this could be a great opportunity for me to really expand my view of what food can be. Also, I came up with a neat title: Forty Days of Foliage! But here's what I need from you, dear readers:

1.) Should I include fish? My reasons for going veggie are environmental, so I don't feel a particular moral need to not eat fish. Although there are obviously still environmental impacts to fish harvesting, I feel like these are more easily mitigated by smart fish selection. But I also don't want to "cheat," and I think if I become too reliant on fish (which I hardly ever eat currently) I might miss out on the key "lessons" of all of this. Maybe I can only have fish once a week? Once a fortnight? SUGGEST.

2.) I don't like beans (pretty much none of them), so I need you to tell me what other things I can be using as a protein substitute. RECIPES PLEASE.

3.) I need encouragement. Tell me how great this is going to be and how much better I'll feel and how it's going to change my life. Because here's how I'm viewing it right now: The next two months will probably be the most stressful of my life (ack finishing grad school ack) and I'm giving up something that would otherwise comfort me in favor of adding another stressor. CONVINCE ME.

Assuming I go through with this, I'll be writing about my experiences on here every few days during Lent, partly as a document of the experiment and partly as a way of shaming myself if I fail. I hope you'll stick with me as I do this, because I am really going to miss bacon and I'm going to need your friendship to help me through it.

I Love You Too, Huggykins

2009-02-16T09:19:00.004-05:00

Although I find it an entirely inappropriate venue to do so, I've adjusted to the fact that people express their loves and huggles and kissies on Facebook and force me to see it on my news feed. I also knew to expect a great deal of this on Valentine's Day. However, these wall posts between a married couple still made me vom in my mouth a bit (and I don't feel bad sharing them here, since they clearly want the whole world to see):

Wife:
I love you, honey!!!! Happy Valentines Day!!!! God has truly blessed me. I have the best husband and father to my children I could ever hope for...I love you more today than yesterday and more tomorrow than today :-)

Husband:
I love you too, dear. I know you never believe me, but I really can't imagine a better wife and mother of my beautiful little girls. I have never been happier in my life.

Umm... DON'T YOU LIVE TOGETHER? Did she use the computer write this on his wall and then let him get on to read it and respond? God forbid they say such things in person. Ugh.

The Five Worst Episodes of Buffy

2009-02-05T15:00:00.001-05:00

Although my posts so far this week have been celebrating the heights of Buffy, today I'll be discussing my least favorites of the series. Although a number of episodes were less-than-enjoyable (as will happen with 144 episodes of anything), here are the five (plus one) I've singled out for shame, all of which seem to carry some sort of heavy-handed message:

Almost Bad Enough: The Pack (Season 1, Episode 6)
Xander and some mean kids get possessed by a pack of hyenas and proceed to eat the principal. A crazy zookeeper who hadn't really appeared at all in the episode turns out to be the villain. The only reason I'm not including this episode is that it was pretty early on in the series, they were still going through growing pains, etc. But this still sucks. MESSAGE: DON'T BE MEAN TO PEOPLE AND DON'T EAT YOUR PRINCIPAL.

5. Go Fish (Season 2, Episode 20)
The swim team is turning into fish because of some steroid their coach is giving them. But we do get that shot of them at the end, returning to the ocean, as they were meant to be (except wait, they're supposed to be teenage boys and now they're not.) Is that supposed to be touching? MESSAGE: DON'T DO STEROIDS THAT TURN YOU INTO A FISH.

4. Buffy v. Dracula (Season 5, Episode 1)
What a terrible idea this was. Why does Dracula have to be real in the Buffyverse? Why does he have to be so lame? Why was this the first episode of the season? What was the point? MESSAGE: DON'T DO DRACULA.

3. Hell's Bells (Season 6, Episode 16)
The main problem I have with this episode, aside from the fact that it split my beloved Anya/Xander pairing apart, is that Xander's actions just don't seem like something he would do, based on what we've known of him for the past 5 and a half seasons. It just doesn't fit with his persona; it was just Joss fucking with us because he knows he can. MESSAGE: DON'T FALL IN LOVE EVER OR YOU'LL SUFFER.

2. Wrecked (Season 6, Episode 10)
Lameness abounds in this episode, when Spike and Buffy's rough sex destroys a building and Rack suddenly becomes a really important character even though we don't know anything about him. This was the point where Willow's magic "addiction" really went over-the-top; she gets filled with "magic" by a creepy man, it makes her hallucinate, and then she desperately craves more, to the point where she endangers others. I know the show isn't particularly known for its subtlety, but come on. MESSAGE: DON'T GET ADDICTED TO MAGIC/HEROIN.

1. Beer Bad (Season 4, Episode 5)
In the worst ever episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, beer turns Buffy into a caveperson. This leads to her solving her problems by hitting the guy she had a one-night stand with in the head with a tree branch. Also, college students talk about philosophy or something. In short, this episode is a mess. I might watch it again if you paid me, but it's convoluted, preachy, and worst of all, entirely unentertaining. MESSAGE: DON'T WATCH THIS EPISODE. ALSO, HIT PEOPLE WHO ARE MEAN TO YOU WITH STICKS.

Top Buffy Episodes: #5-#1

2009-02-04T09:00:00.002-05:00

It was tough to do, but I think these truly are my favorite episodes of Buffy. There aren't any real left-field picks out of these last five, although as you may have noticed from the earlier installments of this list, it continues to skew toward the latter seasons. Well, except for...

5. The Prom (Season 3, Episode 20)
I'll be honest - this is the first Buffy episode that made me almost cry. Jonathan's speech is wonderfully affecting, especially considering the events in "Episode" just a few weeks before, and Sarah Michelle Gellar seems genuinely moved. Sure, the monster was secondary this episode, but that occurs in some of the best. "The Prom" wrapped up Buffy's high school years with class. (Pun totally not intended.)

4. The Body (Season 5, Episode 16)
Although I list it as one of my favorites, I don't know if I'll ever be able to watch this episode again. It is one of the most difficult, painful hours of TV I've ever seen, and I'm not eager to relive it. Having said that, it is almost one of the best I've seen; every aspect is artfully done (with the choice to forgo incidental music being one of the best decisions Joss Whedon ever made.) It also has Anya's speech about death, which I consider to be the single greatest moment in the series.

3. Once More, With Feeling (Season 6, Episode 7)
The musical episode! SO FUN. Plus, Willow goes down on Tara in entirely unsubtle fashion. The songs are mostly great, and unlike most other series that would have a musical episode as a gimmick, they actually advance the story. We see Anya and Xander's growing dissatisfaction with each other, Tara learns that Willow has gone too far with the magic, and Buffy tells everyone that they yanked her out of heaven. Oops. My only real complaint is that there's no fight at the end, but eh, it's still pretty damn good.

2. The Gift (Season 5, Episode 22)
I had a really hard time picking between this and my number one spot. "The Gift" is the best fusion of the comedic, dramatic, and action elements of the series, and I'm sure there are many times I would favor it. There's just so much to love: Willow saves Tara, Joel Grey is ultracreepy, Giles is a total badass about killing Ben/Glory, Buffy repeatedly hits Glory with a giant hammer, and oh yeah, Buffy sacrifices herself to save the world and makes us all cry. And as corny as they were, Buffy's last words to Dawn get me every time. Although I enjoyed the last two seasons a great deal, this would've been an excellent closing to the series if things had worked out differently. (They still could have revived her for the comic books or whatever.)

1. Hush (Season 4, Episode 10)
I'm sure this will surprise absolutely nobody, but yeah. "Hush" is simply the most entertaining, engaging and interesting episode in all of Buffy. Again, the premise could be a gimmick on other shows, but Joss turns it into a musing on the way we communicate, down to the absolutely brilliant ending. It's also the most genuinely horror-filled episode of Buffy; the Gentlemen are by far the creepiest enemy Buffy faces throughout all seven seasons. And I could watch Giles give his overhead presentation about the Gentlemen to "Danse Macabre" over and over and over.

There it is! The conclusion of my favorite episodes of Buffy. I know I left off some of the early favorites ("Becoming, Parts 1 and 2," "Innocence," "Prophecy Girl"), but I realllly didn't like Angel, so those episodes are irrevocably tainted. Deal with it. Check back tomorrow for my least favorites!

Top Buffy Episodes: #10-#6

2009-02-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

In this installment: Finales! Anya! Alternate realities by the fistful!

10. Chosen (Season 7, Episode 22)
I initially had ranked this, the series finale of Buffy, a bit higher, but after a few day's distance, there was way too much of Angel and Principal Wood in this episode. Also, I know not every death needs to be a huge deal, but Anya was killed off rather unceremoniously; Xander didn't even really seem all that upset. Aside from that, though, this was a fitting way to end it all. Buffy achieves (relative) normality, Spike gets his hero moment, and Sunnydale eats it. I especially loved the montage that plays as women around the world achieve their Slayerdom. Maybe I was just more willing to suspend my disbelief since I knew it was the end, but I was pretty satisfied with the way it all wrapped up.

9. Tabula Rasa (Season 6, Episode 8)
"Tabula Rasa" is one of the rare Buffy episodes that achieves both hilarity and poignancy. The interplay between the amnesiac Scoobies is great fun (particularly everything that happens with Giles and Anya - she summons bunnies, he fights a skeleton, they kiss - fantastic!), but the moment when they regain their memories and Tara realizes what Willow has done is heartbreaking. And although Michelle Branch kinda sucks, "Goodbye to You" actually works quite well in this setting. This is perhaps the most well-rounded episode on this list.

8. The Wish (Season 3, Episode 9)
What would Sunnydale be like without Buffy? Pretty sucky, apparently. Even though you know it's not "reality," it's still pretty rough to watch just about every main character die. (Xander and Willow kill Cordelia, Xander kills Angel, Buffy kills Xander, Oz kills Willow, The Master kills Buffy... phew) But hooray, Giles gets to save the day! Also, we meet Anya, who would go on to be my all-time favorite character.

7. Selfless (Season 7, Episode 5)
Did I mention I love Anya? Here, we learn all about Anya's past, and it's AWESOME. My favorite part: Anya started the Russian Revolution of 1905. And we get another song! Also, Anya's fight with Buffy is one of the most satisfying in the entire series (and I was totally rooting for Anya.) It's disappointing that Anya's new-found development in this episode didn't really go anywhere; after this episode, Anya was mostly relegated to bit moments of comic relief. At least, until she got stabbed and no one really seemed to care. (Except me. I cared!)

6. Normal Again (Season 6, Episode 17)
I mentally refer to this as the Twilight Zone episode of Buffy. Although the whole "What if it's just in a dream/someone's imagination?" gimmick is fairly common, it's done so well here. It seems entirely plausible that crazy Buffy has invented an entire universe, and although we know what choice she's going to make at the end, it's a credit to Kristine Sutherland (the actress who plays Buffy's mom) that her failed attempt at regaining her daughter's sanity is so affecting and ultimately devastating. We shouldn't be rooting for her, but we are.

Top Buffy Episodes: #15-#11

2009-02-01T19:44:00.007-05:00

Over the weekend, I finished watching the entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and despite my initial misgivings, it turned out to be pretty darn good. Sure, there are rough moments, but overall, I was quite satisfied. So, in celebration of my completion of this journey, I'm declaring it Buffy Week here at Arsenic and Old Face. Over the next three days, watch for my top 15 episodes to be revealed, five at a time. (I know 15 seems like a lot, but hey, I have 144 to choose from.) That will be followed by my five least favorite, and then possibly a more general post about the show to conclude the week. (But I'm not making any promises on that.) Anyway, here are episodes #15-#11 on my list:

15. Witch (Season 1, Episode 3)
One of the only genuinely memorable Season 1 episodes for me, "Witch" introduces us to the character of Amy Madison, who recurs in interesting ways throughout the series. It also is the first "teenage-trouble-manifest-as-monster" episode; in this case, the archetypal overbearing mother who tries to force her daughter to follow in her footsteps as a cheerleader turns out to be a witch who sets other girls on fire. Which is really kind of awesome.

14. No Place Like Home (Season 5, Episode 5)
This episode makes the list for two major reasons. First is that the wtfery of Dawn's sudden appearance is explained, and while Dawn turns out to be pretty lame, at the time, the reveal is fairly devastating; Sarah Michelle Gellar does some of her best acting as she deals with the shock of a fake sister, fake memories, and an altered life without her consent. Second, we meet the best Big Bad (well, maybe second best after The Mayor) of them all: Glory. Now, I know from the Internets that some find Glory to be really obnoxious, but I. Love. Her. I love the way the actress devours the scenery each time she appears, and I love that in her first appearance, she breaks a heel, throws a tantrum, and causes an entire building to fall around her. That moment epitomizes everything I so enjoyed about Glory.

13. Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered (Season 2, Episode 16)
So Xander (especially high school Xander) is ADORABLE. That's why this episode made the list; it gives him plenty of opportunity to be all cute while he deflects overzealous lovers (including Joyce, which is amazing) from all around. Also, it ends with Cordelia finally losing her shame over dating Xander, creating my favorite coupling in the early seasons.

12. The Zeppo (Season 3, Episode 13)
Two Xander-centric episodes in a row! "The Zeppo" is fun not just because of Xander's awesomeness, but because of the way it plays with the structure of the show. What would normally be a B-plot or C-plot (Xander's mini-quest) becomes the focus, while we continually receive hints of a near-apocalypse being averted by the rest of the cast. And as a result, we get a more confident, more self-assured Xander.

11. Dirty Girls (Season 7, Episode 18)
This is where Season 7 really starts to pick up steam. Faith returns to Sunnydale, Caleb shows up (God, Nathan Fillion is so creepy in this), and Buffy makes her biggest error of perhaps the entire series, blindly leading the Potentials into battle. Also, it has two of the most unsettling Buffy scenes: Caleb's vicious stabbing of the Potential at the open of the episode, and the destruction of Xander's eye, which was waaaaay gross. From "Dirty Girls" on, Season 7 is gold.

Why We Can't Cite Wikipedia

2009-01-28T20:02:00.005-05:00

So I just typed in the search phrase "Bossy" into Wikipedia, expecting to be taken to a page about the song "Bossy" by Kelis, and here's the result I got (click for bigger):

Uhh... I'm not sure at all what to make of this. At the top, under Bossy, it says: "Bossy People Can Be People Who Can Not Find Duty They Get What They Want And They Always Blame Other People If Your A Bossy Porson I Will Turn You Into An Enormas Blueberry Bubble And My Pet Ooompers Loompers Will Roll You Round And Its Happening Right Now If You Are." Whoa. I would hate to be an enormas blueberry bubble being rolled by oomper loompers. That's followed by a few Wiki links, and then, a list of names of people who will be turned into a bubble. Among what appears to be names of people, we find Barry Manilow (and little-known sibling Locky Manilow) and Violet Beauregard.

This is bizarre. I promise I didn't do it. But the fact that this sort of wackiness is still happening on a site as established as Wikipedia is kind of mind-blowing.

A Geographical Plurality Agrees: It's Pop

2009-01-26T21:00:00.000-05:00

Here's a neat map for all of you who make fun of those who refer to carbonated beverages as pop (click for bigger):

That's right - almost all of the northern U.S. (which I'm pretty sure we can all agree is the best part) calls it pop. You'll just have to deal, soda snobs.

Not Top Carl... Top Carla!

2009-01-23T13:33:00.004-05:00

So I have to admit, this season of Top Chef has been a little bit lackluster for me. Most of the remaining chefs seem to be unlikable (Stefan, Jamie), not all that talented (Jeff), or a very special combination of both (Leah. God I hate Leah.), but one of the remaining chefs has kept it interesting for me:

Carla!

I looooooove Carla. Why?

1.) She says some ridiculous shit. At first, Carla sort of annoyed me when she said crazy things like "And the most important ingredient? Love!" but then I came to realize that she really believes this stuff. She very genuinely feels that if she's smiling when she's cooking, it affects the output, and don't you dare question it or she will get FIRED UP. Also, my favorite moment of the season might be when she got separated from her teammates and wandered around Whole Foods shouting "Hooty!" (Apparently, this is a Marco Polo-esque system used by her and her husband - the other is supposed to respond "Hoo!") She puts it all out there, which is what makes a truly great reality TV character.

2.) She makes crazy faces. Unfortunately, Bravo doesn't have any great pics of Carla's fantastic facial expressions, but I assure you: with her mouth agape, she manages to look even more like an extraterrestrial bird than she already does. And it's awesome.

3.) She seems entirely genuine. This sort of falls in with the first category, but Carla seems to have no pretense or inhibitions, and seems to truly care about her fellow cheftestants. For example, in the first episode when Ariane almost bit the dust and said it should've been her, Carla immediately began to offer support and comfort, saying she deserved to be there as much as anyone else. She didn't have to say anything, given they all had known each other for about two days, but instead, she was incredibly sweet without being condescending.

4.) She's from Washington, DC. This one's kinda selfish. The reason this is a plus is because I am totally going to be best friends with Carla when I move to DC. She will make me desserts and we will go to public places and shout "Hooty!" at each other and I will tell her how terrific she is. It'll be perfect.

I'm not optimistic about her chances of making it to the end, but here's hoping she stays on my TV for a long time.

The Inauguration Benediction

2009-01-21T10:15:00.000-05:00

I'd like to point out my favorite part of the inauguration ceremony yesterday: Dr. Joseph Lowery's benediction. He gave a wonderful and thoughtful speech/prayer about the need to be aware of the continuing injustices in our country, capped off by this delightful section, which apparently some ridiculous people are calling racist:

Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right. Let all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen. Say Amen. And Amen.

I Amen-ed at my TV screen. Watch it here:

Hail to the Chief

2009-01-20T12:45:00.003-05:00

I know millions of blog posts will be written today, and I know that mine won't add anything special or unique to the rest, but I feel the need to get my (moderately cliched) thoughts down.

I'm ridiculously optimistic right now. This feeling will likely become more tempered as the days and weeks go on, but right now, I'm caught up in the euphoric wave of it all. For my entire adult life, George W. Bush has been president. Although I remember championing Bill Clinton in elementary school, I've never been in a position to truly feel good about the person who is running my country. I was devastated in 2004, when in the first presidential election I could vote, I saw America endorse another four years of division and ignorance. But now, it seems like we're in a position where we can start turning things around.

I'm going to try not to get too swept up in this rush - we have to remain critical and aware, even if we have what seems like an ally in office. (Related note: My school had a little viewing party for the inauguration, and it was really cute to be in a room full of people who also felt moved to applaud at mentions of science and the depletion of natural resources.) In my arena, I hope the environmental groups remain vigilant and don't get co-opted into rubber stamping this administration's policies. I hope that new attention is drawn to human aspects of environmental issues as well - now's the time to start getting serious about environmental justice, which we have a largely unenforced Executive Order for already.

But for now, I'm going to bask and smile, and for maybe the first time in my adult life, be truly proud to be an American.

Next Up: War on Humanities

2009-01-19T21:16:00.003-05:00

As if you needed an excuse to be happy about the end of the Bush administration, here's an interesting piece from Chris Mooney at Slate about Bush's so-called "war on science" and what scientists need to do to prevent another flareup. Although I don't really consider myself a scientist (despite currently working toward an M.S. I would only really identify as a social scientist, and only when trying to sound high-falutin'), I certainly rely heavily on scientific data, so I found this especially prescient. Woooooo science.

In the South, In the North

2009-01-14T13:09:00.002-05:00

Here's another poem borrowed from The Writer's Almanac. It makes me nostalgic about New Orleans (despite the fact that I've never actually been there.)

In the South, In the North
by Peg Lauber

The grass here is strange paradise to northern feet.
Stiff, it explodes into green when we aren't expecting it
remembering it as greening up much later.
All over town they turn the fountains on again.

If there's one thing they've got enough of,
it's water. Dig down a foot and you have it,
even though brackish, and in the summer
no cold water comes out of the tap no matter
how long you run it. In every yard there's another
explosion in January, camellias, pink, deep red,
white, and we not a month past Christmas.

But up north the frigid season crawls on, takes its time;
even in April and May it's still snowing and sleeting,
then comes hail as winter turns to summer
in one day: 90 degrees. Here, however, people eat sack
lunches on the dull green trolley with red touches still
bearing Christmas garlands over the controls at each end.
The riders open the windows to put their elbows out
while they take the long ride to the end of the line
returning to Lee Circle and Canal Street,
the trolley car whistling and dinging.

Soon St. Charles Avenue, the regular route, will be filled
with high school bands and marching feet, arms waving,
voices crying, "Throw me something, mister," to those
on the floats, as the lines and trees above are decorated
with gold, purple, and green beads, the royal colors of Rex,
against the blue void we call sky.

Deal With It, Cate Blanchett!

2009-01-12T12:37:00.005-05:00

Did you watch the Golden Globes last night? If not, you missed out on some good (Ricky Gervais should have presented everything) and some bad (Kate Winslet wins Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress? What the hell?), but mostly, you missed this awesome speech by Tracy Morgan, who accepted the win for 30 Rock as Best Comedy. (My taste continues to be validated. Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin also won Best Actor and Best Actress in a Comedy for 30 Rock, and unrelatedly, my much-beloved Vicky Christina Barcelona won Best Comedy.) The quality here sucks (it appears to have been filmed off a slightly out-of-sync pocket television), but you can still hear the awesomeness that comes out of his mouth. He is the face of post-racial America!

(Update: So that video got taken down, but if you go to the official NBC clip, you can see it after a short ad.)

Got You Pegged

2009-01-05T13:45:00.003-05:00

This might be a difficult post for some of you to read, but I've made an important discovery that I have to share. It is both juvenile and somewhat explicit, so consider yourself warned.

Usher likes it in the butt.

Now now, before anyone gets all fired up, I'm not saying he's gay. I'm just saying that he enjoys the practice of pegging, in which the woman in a heterosexual pairing dons a strap-on and... yeah. How do I know this? Well, Usher told me! In fact, he tells us all in his new song, "Trading Places."

Give it a listen:

If you still don't agree, I'll show you what I mean.

I'm always on the top
tonight I'm on the bottom
Cuz we trading places

Now, I know a man can be on the bottom without necessarily engaging in the aforementioned sex act, but view Exhibit B:

Now put it on me baby till I say Oooo weee
And tell me to shut up before the neighbors hear me
This is how it feels when you do it like me

See what I mean? He's not even trying to be coy here. This shit is blatant. A bit after these fine lyrics, we get a good thirty seconds of Usher moaning and screaming in ecstasy/agony, followed by this classy conclusion:

Stay tuned for part 2
You been me I been you
But we gonna switch this thing back
Ima put it on your...

Cute, eh? But he pretty much admits it here - I mean, he says he's "been" her, and really, what's the opposite of him "putting it on her (The song cuts off, but I assume the word is ass - what else fits here?)"

I rest my case.

My New Year's Eco-Resolutions

2008-12-31T09:00:00.002-05:00

I think New Year's resolutions are stupid. No one ever keeps them, and they just make you feel guilty.

Having said that, here are my environmentally-focused resolutions:

Eat less meat. While I feel little to no ethical concern regarding eating meat (at least not on a 'All life is sacred' sort of level), I do believe that the way farm animals are raised in our country is both unnecessarily cruel to the animals and harmful to our environment. Although I'm not quite ready to go vegetarian, I think I can cut back further than I already have. That means you all have to provide me with good, easy vegetarian recipes. Hop to it!

Take shorter showers. These are things I often do in the shower: dance, sing, stand, think, and stretch. None of them are really essential activities at that time. I'm going to try and keep focused on the task of cleaning myself so as to not waste water and the energy necessary to heat the water.

Buy carbon offsets for my air travel (once I can afford them.) I don't fly that often, but when I do, I want to start accounting for it through offsets from a reliable source. I don't have the economic means yet, but when I do, I'll start working on it.

Ingest less high-fructose corn syrup. I already try to limit my intake of HFCS, but I could go further. I still drink way too much pop, and I sometimes settle for bread with HFCS. I'm going to do what I reasonably can to cut HFCS out of my diet completely.

There. Maybe now that I've written this down on the Internet, I'll feel more compelled to keep with it. Let's hope. Have a great new year!

The Best of '08 - Singles Edition (Pt. 2)

2008-12-23T09:00:00.000-05:00

Kicking off the second half of the list, we have:

American Boy by Estelle ft. Kanye West (from Shine)

This song should have been a lot bigger than it was. It made it to just #9 on the U.S. singles chart, despite kicking all kinds of ass. Example: the beat is AMAZING. I love the way it builds during the verses before the full-on whoomp-whoomp-whoomp action in the chorus. Estelle's delivery is light, fun, and sexy, and Kanye delivers what may be his last great pre-Autotune verse. Instant classic.

Hearts on Fire by Cut Copy (from In Ghost Colours)

Cut Copy are my Band of the Year. I always say that if New Order stayed good instead of making crappy songs with members of the Scissor Sisters, they would sound like Cut Copy. I had a hard time choosing between Lights and Music and this song for the list, but I chose Hearts on Fire for a few minor reasons. First of all, the verses feel more urgent, and the lead-up to the chorus with the "Woo!" and "Oh-oh-oh!" is fantastic. Also, saxophone in a dance song? Awesome. Also, while "With heart on fire, I reach out to you tonight" should sound really lame, it somehow comes off entirely sincere.

Where Do You Run To by Vivian Girls (from Vivian Girls)

I have a hard time explaining why I like Vivian Girls so much. "See, you can't really understand the vocals that well, and the whole thing sounds kind of muddy, and they harmonize and it sounds nice." In a more slickly produced form, this song could have appeared on Liz Phair's Exile on Guyville. (And that's totally a compliment.) I think the main appeal for me is that it feels so classic - get in, ask where your love went to, get out in 3 minutes or so.

The Rip by Portishead (from Third)

Although most of the year-end lists are opting for Machine Gun, I found The Rip to be a much greater song. We start with just the vulnerability of Beth Gibbons' beautiful, dramatic vocals before the electronics wash over the song, taking it to a new level. And where Machine Gun was alienating and startling, The Rip is almost comforting and hopeful, with the refrain of "White horses/they will take me away." I love the harsher Portishead stuff, but I appreciate the occasional glimpse into their more emotional side, which is why this song made the list. (Note: Sadly, The Rip is not available on Imeem, so I've substituted We Carry On, my favorite non-single from Third.)

Blind by Hercules & Love Affair (from Hercules & Love Affair)

I never quite hopped aboard the Hercules & Love Affair train - Antony has never really done it for me (Yes, he sounds like Nina Simone - I'll still take Nina Simone), and I found some of the album quite boring. But Blind is anything but boring with its insistent disco beat and introspective vocals from Antony, who totally sells the song. In fact, it succeeds for the same reason that Nina Simone remixes so often do. The voice is so unexpected for the style of music that it ends up adding another layer to the song; you can dance your ass off, but you'll enjoy it just as much on headphones. I can only hope that if Hercules & Love Affair make another album, it sounds more like this and less like some of the mid-tempo clunkers from their full-length.

And there you have it! My Top Ten of 2008. You can stream them on the player below, which will also become my new In Heavy Rotation sidebar. Enjoy!

The Best of '08 - Singles Edition

2008-12-22T09:00:00.001-05:00

So maybe I'm just inspired by a recent re-reading of High Fidelity, but I felt compelled this year to write up my favorite singles of the year. (Besides, I have a blog and it's the end of the year - isn't it sort of an obligation?) I'll give you my first five today and five more tomorrow. They're in no particular order, because I mean, really, it was hard enough to come up with just ten to begin with. So, without further ado, let's begin with...

Strange Overtones by David Byrne and Brian Eno (from Everything That Happens Will Happen Today

When I saw David Byrne in October, he opened with this song about songwriting, setting the tone quite nicely. Although much of the other material from ETHWHT is more sedate, the syncopated rhythms and transcendent chorus of this song give it the feel of a calmer, more mature Talking Heads track. There are both good and bad things about that, but it's good to see the pair still progressing when they could easily be treading water without catching too much flak.

Disturbia by Rihanna (from Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded)

As Rihanna sings "I'm going crazy" in the intro to this song, one imagines that she's going to be going crazy for her man, or perhaps going crazy because he left. No, in fact, she's actually having a bit of a mental breakdown. For a pop song, the description of Rihanna's impending insanity is actually somewhat harrowing. (I mean, it's no Velvet Underground track, but it's not trying to be.) And despite all this, it's still a fantastic dance song. Where someone like Beyonce would run this shit into the ground, Rihanna sounds just frightened enough without ever losing the hook.

On the Train by Theatre of Disco (from Theatre of Disco EP)

This is the one "what?" entry I'm allowing myself on this list, but I swear I'm not being deliberately obscure. I just love this song. The lyrics are mostly unintelligible until the chorus, at which point the singer informs us of a key fact: "Everybody on the train got herpes/they've got STDs on the (unclear. In my head, I sing Burpee's, but that's a seed company)" Oh dear. If you don't giggle upon hearing that for the first time, then you probably won't come around to this one, but if juvenile lyrics and a killer beat appeal to you, give this a try.

Crimewave by Crystal Castles vs. HEALTH (from Crystal Castles)

I'll admit that I've never heard the original version of this song, but I don't think I need to. I've described it before as The Knife meets Ladytron (I forgot to add "meets Atari"), but I don't think that quite captures it. The altered vocals, the video game noises, the repetition, the minimal-but-awesome beat; they all show that when Crystal Castles are on their game, there isn't much one can compare them to. (Too bad they aren't on their game more often.) OR I might just have a thing for indecipherable vocals.

Ready for the Floor by Hot Chip (from Made in the Dark)

This song created the following exchange when I was out dancing with a friend, months after this song came out:

Hot Chip: Do it do it do it do it do it do it do it now...
Brian: OMG WE HAVE TO DANCE LETS GO DANCE PLZZZZZZZ OMG
Friend: Oh, fine.

I am so into this song. STILL. According to my last.fm account, this has been my most-played song in the past 12 months. This is surprising, given my initial ambivalence about the song. I mean, coming off of a song like "Over and Over," I had pretty high expectations for Hot Chip, and I felt almost betrayed. Where were the guitars, the kickass beats? Fortunately, I continued to give the song a chance, and I'm glad I did, because it shows something that Hot Chip lacked on their first album: sweetness. Hot Chip just wants to dance with you, and hey, you're even their number one guy. I know it's dorky, but if a guy were to put this on a mixtape for me, I'd consider that much more romantic than a lot of the more standard options. (It doesn't count if he reads this, though.)

Animal Dance, Animal Dance

2008-12-18T13:53:00.002-05:00

File this under amazing:

When one of the monkeys refused to ride on a child's bicycle in a street performance in Sizhou, in eastern China, their owner beat it with a stick.

Although they were tied to the man with ropes attached to their collars, the monkeys appear to have decided to fight back.

The two animals came to the defence of the third monkey, grabbing the stick from the man, pulling on his ear and biting his head.

When he dropped his cane, on monkey snatched it up and began beating the trainer on the head until he broke the stick, witnesses said.

Fight the power, monkeys!

Take Your Money

2008-12-16T09:48:00.001-05:00

So, apparently, "Paper Planes" by M.I.A. became a big hit and I never noticed it until recently. (The same thing happened with Twilight - where the hell did that come from?) This confuses me. It's not that I don't like the song; it's quite good. But I never really pictured it as M.I.A.'s breakthrough hit. I mean, it went to #4 on the US charts, and now it's up for Record of the Year at the Grammys. I don't get how this happened.

My consternation has many sources. First off, this song is old. It was released as a single pretty early this year, all the "hip" folks went nuts, and then it sort of went away. Apparently, it entered the mainstream upon being featured in the trailer for Pineapple Express, gradually climbing the charts. It's not the first song to experience delayed success, so this isn't really the main cause of my confusion.

Bigger cause of confusion: Musically, this song is weird. Not super-weird, but for mainstream radio? Weird. It's way repetitive, M.I.A. seems stuck somewhere between singing and rapping, and the chorus? It is made of gunshots. Lyrically, the song's popularity is even more confounding. M.I.A. goes all Randy Newman on us and attacks Americans for our assumptions about foreigners by acting like we're right. This is where I get truly concerned, as I assume that most people ignore the lyrics in favor of the nifty beat and the novelty of the gunshots. I can't decide if this means M.I.A. wins (she gets our money and our love while totally subverting us) or loses (her message gets totally lost on the deaf American ears she's mocking.) But mostly, I'm just confused how I managed to be entirely unaware of this until now. I need to get back onto the pop culture bandwagon once I'm done with this blasted graduate degree.

Grease is the Turd

2008-12-15T11:39:00.005-05:00

Yesterday, I acquired a ticket to see a live performance of the current touring production of Grease when the previous holder of said ticket fell ill. Although I was reluctant to go, I was in fact quite a fan of the movie in my middle school years, so I figured it couldn't be all bad. I was wrong. It was. Here are all the things that suck about seeing Grease on stage.

1.) The plot. There is no plot to Grease. Here is what happens:

Act I - They hang out and sing.
Act II - There is a dance. They hang out and sing. Rizzo is pregnant. Wait, five minutes later, it turns out she's not. Sandy changes everything she is to satisfy Danny and all is resolved.

That's right, little teenage girls who are the target audience: Do what you have to so you can get with the school asshole. AT ALL COSTS.

2.) The characters. Here's where Grease benefits from having such a popular movie version, where the characters are at least moderately well-drawn. In the stage version, they can be identified by one or more of the following characteristics: dumb; fat; slutty; mean; horrific. When people see Danny and Sandy on stage, they see John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John. They have to, or else they'd have nothing to go on.

3.) The music. I have fond memories of several songs from Grease. These songs have been incorporated from the movie version into the musical to make it more like the movie. The songs that were already there? They (mostly) suck. They're sung by minor characters who have little bearing on the tiny amount of plot actually present, and they have nothing to do with the show. They don't progress the story in any way, and frankly, they're just not very good. Sure, songs like "Summer Nights" and "Greased Lightning" are fun, but they're practically rote at this point.

And here's something that made this performance of Grease uniquely horrible:

Taylor Hicks. Taylor Hicks, winner of the fifth season of American Idol, played the role of Teen Angel (the guy who sings "Beauty School Dropout") and boy, was it a hot damn mess. Yes, he sings well. HOWEVER, they extended his scene as long as possible, resulting in extreme awkwardness; Frenchie even said, "I voted for you!" at one point. Sorry, but I reject the anachronism. He also did a harmonica solo during the song, which was bizarre.

But just when you think you're done with Taylor, the curtain call happens, and he launches into a few bars of "Grease" before the cast does a medley of all of the most memorable songs from the show. Yeah, the ones they just sang in their complete forms. You get to hear them again. While they do this, Taylor more or less wanders around the stage, looking mostly lost, unable even to hand jive. At that moment, I felt just as lost as him.

Who's on first? Yogurt is!

2008-12-09T23:51:00.002-05:00

So, keeping in the trend of me informing you about things I like when I discover them, which usually 3-4 months after their heyday, I'm going to tell you about the awesomeness that is Sarah Haskins, host of the "Target Women" segment on Current TV.

Birth Control

Each of her 3-4 minute segments discusses the absurd, generally patronizing way media reaches out to women. BUT, instead of coming off all Camille Paglia, she's funny! I totally want to be her friend.

Yogurt

I don't have too much to say about these beyond, "Watch these! They're hilar." So yeah. Here you go. Watch these, and more!

Chick Flicks

Fashion Isn't Always Pretty

2008-12-09T11:43:00.002-05:00

Have you gone into withdrawal since the conclusion of Project Runway? Are you craving more? Well, here's some fantastic news: Project Runway Canada is coming back in January! For those of you who didn't see the first season, HOLY CRAP DID YOU MISS OUT. First of all, PRC is hosted by Iman (David Bowie's wife!!), and while I love Heidi, Iman's crazy ass makes for much better TV. She yells at contestants, seems very above it all, and most importantly, looks fabulous the entire time. Also, the producers seem to have an eye for casting; the first season had some of the most interesting contestants to grace any Project Runway. Who can forget Biddell's awfulness? Or Lucien's bizarre cryfest with one of the judges during the finale? Plus, Stephen? He may have kind of sucked, but he was awesome.

The entire series used to be available on YouTube, but it sadly seems to have been taken down. You could probably still torrent it or something. Let's hope that us Americans have some sort of way to view it come January.

I'll Stop the World

2008-12-02T09:21:00.001-05:00

Photo: Red Cross of Argentina

Here's an interesting global warming awareness campaign from the Red Cross of Argentina: melting people! These people hand out fliers and such that urge climate-friendly activities and choices. I think this is awesome - it's an attention-getting conversation piece and plus, that guy is waaaaaaay cute. I def don't want him to melt.

Umm...

2008-12-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

Here's another addition to the "Brian-Manages-To-Date-Some-Really-Weird-People" file:

Someone I dated for a few months last year messaged me on MySpace as though he doesn't know me, even referring to himself as a stranger.

I mean, really? I think it's time to get rid of my MySpace profile.

30 Rocks

2008-11-25T09:00:00.001-05:00

Have you been watching 30 Rock like I keep telling you to? You should be. The third season has been great so far. Even Sesame Street is getting in on the act:

The character spoofs are soooo spot-on.

R. E. Why?

2008-11-24T09:46:00.000-05:00

This weekend, for the first time in my life, I went to an REI (which apparently stands for Recreational Systems, Inc.) It was awful. Here's why.

1.) It was so big. I got lost TWICE while I was there.

2.) The employee uniforms are beyond ugly. Seriously, what's with the Home Improvement vests?

3.) Greenwashing. Big box stores do not get to claim environmental responsibility. Sure, some effort is better than none, but I know an easy way to reduce your emissions, REI - build smaller stores.

4.) Too outdoorsy! I care about nature and all, but I'm a city person through and through, so being surrounded by tents and snowboards was alarming.

5.) Too expensive! If I'm spending $100 on a vest, that vest better be made out of elephant or some shit.

6.) So suburbanite. To quote Liz Lemon, "I haven't seen this many white people in tuxedos since the Titanic." (Substitute "North Face" for "tuxedos.")

In conclusion, I hated it. I also managed to swallow my convictions for long enough to spend $15 on a travel mug, so yeah, I'm pretty lame to bitch about all of this. Damn my lack of willpower!

Happy Birthday, Biden!

2008-11-20T09:00:00.000-05:00

This is too damn cute.

Vindictive Much?

2008-11-19T14:36:00.002-05:00

I have to share a point of personal triumph I experienced today. I was flipping through our substandard student newspaper and came across this article, which tells of a lecturer here at U of M, Lawrence Greene, quitting for the rest of the term after some severe ethics allegations came out against him:

The Monday WXYZ news segment reported that Greene cashed his deceased parents' pension checks and featured interviews with nine former clients of Greene's who alleged that he collected thousands of dollars from them and failed to do the work for which he was paid.

Here's some backstory for I'm rejoicing in this. I took a class about the American court system with Lawrence Greene during my undergrad years, and it was by far the worst course I ever took. He was an awful lecturer who stood at the front of the class reciting dates that we should know without giving us any sort of insight into the cases he was telling us about. Halfway through the term, I stopped going. (Not my best option, I realize, but mean, I was 19.) During this time, he changed the date of the final without sending an e-mail or anything to the rest of the class. I showed up on the original date of the final and was all "uhhhhh..." before learning the final was already due. I was able to turn it in late, but I still got a B-, which is the worst grade I've ever received.

In conclusion, HA HA HA, Larry Greene. I always knew you were an awful person, and now my formerly irrational feelings of intense dislike feel justified. Can I petition to get my grade changed now?

Nevertheless, She Was a Mess

2008-11-18T12:29:00.002-05:00

Dear blog readers,

I know there are only maybe 2.5 of you, but I just wanted to apologize for the infrequency of my blogging as of late. Between a pickup in schoolwork and a sudden influx of friends visiting town, I've been unable to devote as much time writing about nothing as I would like to. I'll try to get back on the horse soon.

Love,
Brian

Pork the Pain Away

2008-11-13T12:03:00.002-05:00

So yesterday, when I should have been doing schoolwork, I instead began watching Muppet-related YouTube videos with a friend of mine. (This is a more common occurrence for us than one would think.) We stumbled across this gem, in which someone set clips of Miss Piggy to "Fuck the Pain Away" by Peaches. Even for non-Muppet fans, this should be enjoyable. (Although that's coming from quite the Muppet fan, so I'm not really the most unbiased source.)

Abundance of Greenery

2008-11-11T09:39:00.000-05:00

I have a strange sort of problem.

I have too much bok choy.

A friend and I were cooking together on Saturday and purchased a mind-bogglingly enormous head of bok choy at the local farmer's market for a mere $2. It made a delicious addition to our stir fry, but even after using a lot of it for that purpose, I still have plenty left. Any suggestions for what to do with it all?

Some Morning-After Thoughts

2008-11-05T11:09:00.003-05:00

I don't need to tell anyone how big of a deal it is that we elected Barack Obama our president last night. Instead, if you'll bear with me, I'm going to engage in some sentimentalism about my own feelings about this election. It may even cross over into maudlin territory at times. Consider yourself warned.

I wasn't on the Barack Obama love train at first. I'm still not ashamed to say that I supported Hillary in the primaries, mainly because I felt that at the time, Obama hadn't really solidified what he meant when he said "change." I think the long primary season actually forced him to hammer down that message, and as we entered the general election, he was a much stronger candidate because of it. Feeling more comfortable that I had a sense of what an Obama presidency would look like, I finally allowed myself to get swept up in the amazing speeches and the excitement of what could really get done if we made this man our president. Shit, I even gave him $25. (That's hard for a grad student!)

So, like so many people did last night, once Barack finished speaking, I cried. (But only a little.) I cried because for the first time in my adult life, I would have a president I could feel confident in. I cried to release all the stress I had put myself through while worrying about the prospect of a McCain presidency. I cried out of joy. But I think I cried mostly because I had convinced myself it couldn't happen. I had told myself that America was too racist to elect any non-white person president, and I thought they wouldn't be able to go through with it, despite all the favorable polling. Hell, if you had told me 4 years ago that in 4 years, we would have a black president, I would have told you that we'd be lucky to have one in 40 years. My mother, born in 1949, thought until recently she would never see a black president. So as it sunk in for me that he had actually won, and by such a large margin, I cried out of extreme satisfaction to know that I was wrong.

Now, that's not to say we've eliminated the racial problems we have in this country, and it's not to say that I'm always going to agree with the decisions Obama makes as president. I'd like to think that I'm going to be able to maintain objectivity as his administration moves forward and truly assess whether he's making the right decisions. But for now, I'm content to revel in this amazing moment.

Barack Obama FTW

2008-11-05T00:42:00.004-05:00

Holy shit.

It actually happened.

I can't stop grinning.

More tomorrow.

It's About Damn Time

2008-11-04T11:16:00.004-05:00

HOLY SHIT.

It's finally Election Day.

Why I need this day to be over:

Stress-eating - I have been a cow this past week. The more fried or chocolatey something is, the better. Once I know the outcome today, I can go back to drinking my stress away.

Nightmares - I actually had a nightmare last night that Minnesota went red. Of all places! I need to not be subconsciously fretting about this election.

Productivity - Who can do homework when there are so many stupid blogs and news stories to read?

ARGH. I'll be back tomorrow to gloat (if this day ever ends, anyway.)

Teehee

2008-11-01T17:53:00.002-04:00

Spooky, Scary!

2008-10-31T13:10:00.002-04:00

In honor of Halloween, here's the full version of "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah," Tracy Jordan's famous novelty hit. Ignore if you're lame and don't get 30 Rock references.

The Patience of Ordinary Things

2008-10-30T09:30:00.002-04:00

Since we could all stand to relax a little bit during all the election wackiness, here's a lovely little poem I heard on Garrison Keillor's The Writer's Almanac.

The Patience of Ordinary Things
by Pat Schneider

It is a kind of love, is it not?
How the cup holds the tea,
How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare,
How the floor receives the bottoms of shoes
Or toes. How soles of feet know
Where they're supposed to be.
I've been thinking about the patience
Of ordinary things, how clothes
Wait respectfully in closets
And soap dries quietly in the dish,
And towels drink the wet
From the skin of the back.
And the lovely repetition of stairs.
And what is more generous than a window?

Pollsters on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

2008-10-29T11:25:00.002-04:00

Here's an interesting New York Times article about the polling websites that so many of us have been checking constantly. You may remember my obsession with fivethirtyeight.com - well, some of the other pollsters go after the site's founder here, and I don't know enough about these sorts of things to accurately assess their claims. I just like seeing people get mad at each other.

Anyway, this all needs to end. Like, now. I can't take the stress anymore.

Byrne Baby Byrne

2008-10-26T16:05:00.007-04:00

On Friday, I was fortunate enough to see David Byrne perform at the Michigan Theater in Ann Arbor. I'm far from unbiased on the awesomeness that is David Byrne; whenever forced to choose a favorite band, I go for Talking Heads, and I consider some of his solo work (The Catherine Wheel, Music from the Knee Plays) to be just as strong as the best TH stuff. Additionally, Everything That Happens Will Happen Today, his recent collaboration with Brian Eno, has been in heavy rotation for me since its release. Needless to say, I was pumped.

David did not disappoint me. At this point in his career, Byrne could easily become complacent and just roll out the hits each time he performs, but instead, he continues to reimagine and reinterpret songs from throughout his extensive catalog. A personal highlight for me was the unexpected "My Big Hands (Fall Through the Cracks)" from The Catherine Wheel, which has been my favorite DB solo song for some time. His interpretation of "Help Me Somebody" from My Life in the Bush of Ghosts was fascinating and downright avant-garde. The original recording features the sampled vocals of a raving preacher, but Byrne decided to recreate the vocals himself; his channeling was fascinating and almost unnerving. Additionally, underappreciated TH gems like "Air" and "I Zimbra" were awesome to see live.

Of course, the show wasn't all obscurity. Classics such as "Burning Down the House" and "Once in a Lifetime" were amazing, especially when one considers how many times he must have performed each of these in his life. ("Once in a Lifetime" earned him a loooong standing ovation, and the balcony literally started to shake during "Burning Down the House" due to the vehement dancing taking place.) The new material felt relatively subdued by comparison, but there were still some very strong moments, such as the campfire feel of "My Big Nurse" and the deliberate, playful "Life is Long."

I've focused on the music so far, but it's important to note that David Byrne seems to place a lot of value in putting on a show. The most obvious example is the use of three modern dancers during select songs, who provided a fascinating visual counterpoint to the music. Their strongest moment came in "Life is Long," when they, along with Byrne, spun around and moved about the stage in swivel chairs, emphasizing the song's anti-torpor message. (Although one of them jumped over Byrne's head during "Once in a Lifetime," and that was pretty amazing too.) One of my fellow concertgoers found the dancers distracting, but Byrne himself danced about the stage in his awkward, wonderful way, showing that he still gets into his music after all these years.

Anyway, I could gush on and on, I'm sure, but you get the point by now. David Byrne is awesome. He puts on an awesome show. Spend any amount of money you must in order to see him.

P.S. For another blogger's perspective on the show, including a full setlist, check out The Lone Microphone.

Letting the Days Go By

2008-10-24T10:54:00.002-04:00

I'm seeing David Byrne in concert tonight. FUCK YES. To commemorate this, here's a fantastic video of Kermit the Frog singing "Once in a Lifetime." Full concert report on Monday.

So Long, and Thanks For All the Herpes

2008-10-21T14:27:00.002-04:00

Apparently, if you live in a major metropolitan area, you can now send your hook-ups an e-card to inform them that you may have given them an STD. Yes, thanks to inspot.org, you can anonymously send far-too-witty notices to your casual sex partners that you have the herp and that they should probably look into that.

I'm of two minds on this. On the plus side, the anonymous nature of this may lead some people who would not otherwise notify their partners to take action. Also, recipients of the cards receive instructions on how to get tested. However, it's all a bit too flip for me. Example: "I got screwed while screwing, you might have too." Not only should that comma be a semicolon, but it's a really strange way to break that sort of news. "Hey, guess what? You might have an STD! LOLOLOL! No, but really, go get tested."

Thoughts?

Project Runway Rundown: Petals FTW

2008-10-16T13:00:00.005-04:00

Here's how the next few weeks are going to work here at A&OF. Today, I'm just going to give some quick thoughts about the Project Runway finale, but each Thursday after this, I'm going to give a look-by-look assessment of each collection. Why am I doing this? Because I know no one reads my blog except when it's about Project Runway, so I'm going to stretch this shit out and milk it for all I can. Anyway.

Yay Leanne! Overall, I loved her collection, although I wish there had been a bit more variety of color to it (which is where Korto excelled). The "petals" moved beautifully on the runway, and although Korto's collection was probably more marketable, Leanne's was definitely more high-fashion. Once Kenley was out, I was happy either way, but I was ever-so-slightly pulling for Leanne, so congratulations to her.

Again, you'll get more of my thoughts in the coming weeks, but I want to share with you an absolutely terrifying comment left by someone on Bravo's official site:

Tim Gunn has impecable manners and shows great restraint. Kenley has been soooooo rude!!! her defensive attitude is tiresome and Tim gracefully listens to her tirades!!!

she should be glad Hannibal Lector is a fictional character - he knew what to do with rudeness and lack of manners!!!!

Shit, I hate Kenley too, but I never wished for her to get eaten.

How Tina Fey is Saving America

2008-10-14T11:08:00.004-04:00

We all love Tina Fey's note-perfect impersonation of Sarah Palin. Enough words have been written about how wonderful and spot-on the impression is, so I can't add much but agreement on that front. Instead, I'd like to point something else out to you: Tina Fey is saving us all.

Take a look at this graph of presidential polling. (Click for bigger, natch.) The first Sarah Palin SNL sketch happened on Sept. 13. At this point, McCain was still up by a couple points. In the polling days following the sketch, Obama went from a 47-45 deficit to a 49-44 lead. His lead began to shrink again, but following the Sept. 27 Katie Couric interview sketch, Obama's numbers began to rise again (and McCain's began to fall more drastically.) And then, in the days after the Oct. 4 VP debate sketch, Obama broke 50% for the first time. Clearly, Tina Fey has (nearly) rescued the American people from the horribleness of a McCain/Palin administration.

Now, a critic of mine might say, "But Brian, correlation doesn't equal causation. Plus, a lot of other stuff has been going on. The economic crisis is obviously going to benefit the party not in power, and McCain's been doing just about everything he can to tank his campaign. Besides, the audience for SNL is primarily younger, who are already more in favor of Obama. Isn't SNL just preaching to the choir?"

To that person, I would say, "Shut your face. Tina Fey is an American hero and I want to marry her. We should all watch 30 Rock when it premieres on Oct. 30 at 9:30 on NBC to show her how thankful we are. That's Oct. 30, 9:30, NBC. You can also watch it on hulu.com and nbc.com. Anyway, she's amazing."

God bless Tina Fey.

Project Runway Rundown: Penultimate Edition

2008-10-09T13:33:00.005-04:00

Much like Bravo has given up on this show, I'm having trouble getting sufficiently worked up to write. But here we go.

Challenge: Go home and design a collection of 10 looks. One of them must be a wedding dress. Upon returning to New York, the designers were surprised with an additional challenge - create a bridesmaid dress to go with your dress.

I'd like to start by saying that I know the Internet's in a big tizzy about how "unfair" these challenges were, but I'm not too perturbed by it all. Maybe it's just the huge amount of reality TV I've consumed in my lifetime, but this is nowhere near the most unfair twist I've ever witnessed. Besides that, even if the challenge had been similar to last season, when Chris and Rami each showed three of their looks, Jerell would still be out. (Find the collections online if you don't believe me.) ANYWAY.

(Note: You may see that the pictures are especially awful this week. This is Bravo's fault, as this is all they're providing for each dress. So I apologize in advance that you can hardly see the dresses in most of these.)

Leanne

You'll have to take my word for it, but these were gorgeous. I loved the way Leanne interpreted waves in these looks (especially the bustline on the bridesmaid dress. Fantastic.) I love the color for each, and the flowing sensation when they moved was really neat. Out of all the looks, these are the only dresses I can actually imagine being worn at a real wedding. They're youthful, chic, and interesting. I'm excited for her to win next week.

Kenley

I hate to admit it, but Kenley totally earned her spot in the finals on this one. The wedding dress was fanciful and fun, and while it was a bit too much, it was very Kenley and extremely well-made. (Although it is remarkably similar to the McQueen dress Michael Kors made reference to.) The bridesmaid dress is also very cute, although it doesn't seem too bridesmaidish to me. It's a little bit too "night on the town," in my opinion, but still well done and quite flattering. It pains me to say it, but Kenley absolutely deserved to go on instead of Jerell.

Korto

So these? Are not so good. I don't know what it is with Korto in these last few challenges, but her cute, modern, voluminous style has been turned into a drab mess. The wedding gown wasn't quite as horrible as the first pic makes it look, but it was still pretty bad. It was extremely overworked with way too much going on. The bridesmaid dress was better but still not very impressive. Korto does well with simplicity, which I hope shines through in her collection. She can still win this, but she needs to not show these dresses in the tent.

Jerell

As not-so-great as Korto's output may have been, Jerell's creations (especially the wedding dress) were absolute monstrosities. It looks like he used tissue paper to create each, with all those wrinkles and crinkles. The gray tulle does look dirty, and that ripped-open, bejeweled bust area on the wedding dress is just atrocious. It looks like her boobs are wielding spears. The bridesmaid dress is slightly better, but still a total mess. And as always, Jerell has no idea how to style his models and put a damn bouquet on the "bride's" head. (I'm trying to find a Brideshead Revisited joke here, but no luck.) Sorry to Jerell, but he's just not at the same talent level as the other three ladies.

Next Week: Finale! Leanne wins! Hooray!

Enough!

2008-10-08T08:38:00.005-04:00

I know we're in the middle of an election and all, but there's a new, way more important tyranny threatening Americans, and that's VH1 Love Shows. Now, dear blog reader, you're probably saying, "Why Brian, these have been around for years." It's true. And you know, I'll be the first to admit that Flavor of Love was one of my favorite guilty pleasures. I can even stomach the idea of Rock of Love, even though I kind of hate it.

No, the problem here is a surfeit of spin-offs. First we had I Love New York, in which the crazy lady from Flavor of Love got to have her own dating show. (She now has New York Goes to Hollywood.) I Love Money, a challenge show starring cast members from each of the series, just wrapped up. And now, perhaps most egregiously, comes Real Chance of Love.

Sorry if that image made you spontaneously vom. Real and Chance are two brothers who originally appeared on I Love New York and hung around for I Love Money. Now they get their own nonsensically-titled show? THIS MADNESS MUST END. I mean, for God's sake, this will be the spin-off of a spin-off. Sure, that worked for Good Times, but at least they were likable (and fictional). These guys? Awful. And look at Real's lady weave. Ugh.

But what I think I'm most irked by is that the show shouldn't be Real Chance of Love - it should be Real Chansey of Love. Bring on the Pokemon dating shows!

And I Ask Myself: Well, How Did They Get Here?

2008-10-07T09:00:00.003-04:00

I use Google Analytics to keep track of how many people are coming to my blog, find out where they're from, and learn other similar interesting bits of minutiae that feed my addiction to useless facts. Perhaps my favorite thing to do is find out what Google search terms people are using to get here. Here are some of the most awesome and wonderfully bizarre:

"Suede" + "hideous" - Clearly, this person has good fashion sense.
"arsenic for the face" - This is going to be the title of my line of feel-good books, a la Chicken Soup for the Soul.
"arsenic in oldface" - Is oldface like blackface? Why would arsenic be "in" it?
"mahna mahna lipsticks" - They should totally sell Mahna Mahna lipstick.
"touch me tina" - Uhh...

And my favorite:

"v. kenley tweedledum" - I have no idea why anyone was searching for this particular string of words, but I love it so much. If for some reason I am ever responsible for naming a child, I want to name it V. Kenley Tweedledum, and then I want it to get a law degree and be V. Kenley Tweedledum, Esq. That would be awesome.

Update: In Heavy Rotation

2008-10-06T13:00:00.001-04:00

Hey everyone - new edition of my playlist In Heavy Rotation today. Here's what's in rotation this time around:

"Sharkey's Day" by Laurie Anderson - My favorite wake-up song. "Sun's coming up - like a big bald head!"
"Ready for the Floor" by Hot Chip - If you read my blog, you're my number one guy. (Or girl, I suppose.)
"Teenage Riot" by Sonic Youth - Classic. (And cliched at this point, I realize.)
"Nobody Lost Nobody Found" by Cut Copy - If New Order's newest stuff didn't suck, it would sound like this.
"Sinnerman" by Nina Simone - If you sin, you're going to hell.
"Satan Said Dance" by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - But thankfully, in hell, all you do is dance.
"Running Up That Hill" by Kate Bush - Ask me about my theory that this is about strap-on sex.
"Naked Eye" by Luscious Jackson - Fun!
"I Always Say Yes" by Glass Candy - I want a tight t-shirt that says "I Always Say Yes." Someone make it happen.
"Atmosphere" by Joy Division - Now we all cry.

Enjoy!

Seriously, I Can't Handle This Anymore

2008-10-06T09:00:00.000-04:00

Dear Michigan,

Please, pick a season and stay there. I can't deal with this roller coaster ride.

Love,
Brian

Project Runway Rundown: Everybody Wins (or: We All Lose)

2008-10-02T12:57:00.005-04:00

Only a couple weeks left of this.

Challenge: Design a dress with nature as your inspiration.

Since Season 3, no one has gone home at the Final 4 challenge. In Season 3, we had all 4 make it to Bryant Park, and in Season 4, Rami and Chris had to come back and compete for the third spot. Now, they're all competing to making it to Fashion Week based on their collections. So, I ask, why bother with this challenge? Why not skip it and make the collections the new Final 4 challenge?

Answer: Ad time.

Anyway.

Jerell

Congrats to Jerell on "winning" but not really winning, since he's still eligible to be eliminated next. I like the silhouette of this dress a lot, but the red and green fabrics in the front just look cheap. Also, it hangs a bit too low on her, and there's a little bit too much sparkle around the boobies. It all looks wrinkly, too. Still, Jerell should have earned his way to the finals with this. Also, his runway bitchery was good fun.

Leanne

I would have picked this for the win. I like the way she combined her usual architectural style with a softer look and feel. It's very elegant while still retaining a slight edge. I think what kept her from the win was that big bunch of blue fabric in the back (mercifully not visible in this picture) - without that, she should have been fine.

Korto

Oh Lord, what a sharp drop-off in quality from the top two to the bottom. First of all, that color is all wrong for her skin tone. She looks really washed out. Those lace circle things are also pretty bad. The top looks unfinished. I love Korto, but I just can't defend this. It's a mess. I think it's slightly less of a mess than Kenley's, but still... blech.

Kenley

I am amazed that the word "costume" was not used to describe this look, because she looks like she walked straight out of Little Shop of Horrors to eat your face. That fabric choice is hideous and absurd. Those petals or whatever the fuck they are around the feet are awful. The hairstyle is old-looking. Perhaps the only defensible thing is that she constructed it quite well, but honestly, when your taste is so far off, maybe it's time to just be a tailor or something.

Also, unacceptable attitude, defensive, bratty, blah blah etc. You know by now.

Next week: Part 1 of the finale? No reunion??

What's In A Ringtone?

2008-10-01T15:33:00.002-04:00

I've always taken my cell phone's ringtone a little bit more seriously than I should. Not that I think it has to be deep and meaningful, but I tend to try a little bit too hard at finding one that I think "fits" me. These are the ringtones I've had over time:

"Bizarre Love Triangle" by New Order - This one lasted a looong time. Since this is arguably in my top ten songs ever, I had a strong attachment to this, but I found that hearing it play every time my phone rang actually lessened my actual enjoyment of the song. Also, the quality of my clip in particular kind of sucked. Hence, I have jettisoned it, although I still use it for one person.

"Hey Mami" by Fannypack - This one was fun, but it got annoying fairly quickly. Again, one very special person gets this ringtone, but that's it.

"Breakin' Dishes" by Rihanna - I kept this one almost as long as I kept BLT, and I'm not particularly sure why. It came around during my resurgence of love for pop music, so I guess that's why I felt it worked, but mostly, I just got used to it.

"No no no! Not God bless America - GOD DAMN AMERICA!" by Rev. Jeremiah Wright - Okay, so I never actually used this one. I got it from Slate's political ringtones. It's fun to play for people every once in a while. It is my ringtone for one person who specifically requested it, so every call from her is actually rather startling.

"Sinnerman" by Nina Simone - My newest selection, and it just may be my best choice yet. It's urgent, it builds in intensity as I continue to not answer the phone, it's obscure without being overly so... I'm pretty pleased. Of course, give me a few months and I'm sure my whims will change again.

Feedback Time: What about you? What's your ringtone? WHY?

Brian Love Al Gore, Part 3964

2008-09-30T13:13:00.001-04:00

Al Gore continued to be the most awesome person ever Monday when he made the following remarks at the Clinton Global Initiative:

“If you’re a young person looking at the future of this planet and looking at what is being done right now, and not done, I believe we have reached the stage where it is time for civil disobedience to prevent the construction of new coal plants that do not have carbon capture and sequestration,” he said at the third annual meeting of former President Bill Clinton’s initiative, which arranges partnerships between the very rich and the very needy.

Mr. Gore said the civil disobedience should focus on “stopping the construction of new coal plants,” which he said would add tons of carbon dioxide to the atmosphere — despite “half a billion dollars’ worth of advertising by the coal and gas industry” claiming otherwise. He added, “Clean coal does not exist.”

God he's so amazing. I realllllly wish he had run for pres this year. Sigh.

I Got You an Offshore Drilling Platform

2008-09-30T09:00:00.000-04:00

It's my birthday! The government of the US decided to gift me with the expiration of the ban on offshore drilling. BEST PRESENT EVER.

More Like Five Thirty Great!

2008-09-29T12:36:00.003-04:00

I just wanted to give a quick heads-up to all of you about an amazing website that deals with two things I desperately love: statistics and politics. FiveThirtyEight.com uses a sophisticated model based on polls and past trends to determine who will win the presidential election. Although they admit to a liberal bias, the modeling seems to be based entirely on actual data.

But here's the cool part: before each update, they run the model 10,000 times. Based on each run, they establish percentages for all sorts of neat things. These range from pretty standard (currently, Obama is projected to win 80.5% of the time, but only with 50.8% of the popular vote) to pretty awesome and minute (14% chance that Obama will win Ohio, but lose Pennsylvania.) There's also a state-by-state rundown of odds. (Most surprising/elating for me: Virginia goes to Obama 84% of the time.) Now, I don't know enough about modeling to assess the validity of their model, but even if it's all wrong, it's still fun to look at.

Project Runway Rundown: Musical Stares

2008-09-25T15:17:00.006-04:00

I hope you all enjoyed another week of bullshit judging. Let's get this over with.

Challenge: Create a look for one of your fellow designers based on a musical genre.

Before we begin, I just want to say how annoying the basis of this challenge is. It's almost impossible not to create something cliche and stereotypical. Hence, we got four cliched stereotypes and whatever the fuck it was that Kenley made. Anyway, on with the designs.

Korto
Model: Suede
Genre: Punk

Eh. I mean, everything was kinda eh, so I don't dispute that this was the winner, but eh. It looks punky, I guess. The pants are pretty good, and the bleaching effect worked really well, but I think of really tight pants when I think punk. You could probably get the shirt at Hot Topic. The styling was really over the top. But she did well, considering the challenge constraints. Suede's runway histrionics made me want to vom all over the place.

NOTE TO NINA: I love you, but Marilyn Manson is not punk, and he did not look like Marilyn Manson.

Jerell
Model: Kenley
Genre: Pop

This was also a good effort - Kenley actually looks much prettier this way. (That means ditch the florals, missy.) I like the sheer cutouts, and the sparkly bra underneath is a nice touch. The vest is the biggest mistake here - it's too Aladdin and too small. The hair and makeup are nice, but the boots just do not go with the rest of the look. I think Jerell didn't quite get there for two reasons:
1)it was pretty unimaginative,
and 2)they also didn't want Jerell (of all the talented people in the history of PR) to be the first three-peat designer.

Leanne
Model: Korto
Genre: Country

This is where I start to get cranky. I didn't love this look (although the skirt is quite nice), but I don't know what more they want her to do with it. They say she didn't go far enough with it, but if she had gone farther, Michael Kors would've said something like, "She looks like Dolly Parton in blackface!" Instead, he settled for the somewhat less repellent, but still inappropriate, "She just looks like she's going to go eat some ribs." WHOA. I'm going to cut Michael some slack on that, but... not okay. Whatever.

Kenley
Model: Leanne
Genre: Hip-Hop

Warning: The rest of this post is going to be VERY ANGRY. VERY.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. All of a sudden, hip-hop means mom jeans, the same fucking type of print that Kenley has used for every challenge, a leather jacket, and gaudy jewelry. Those pants are absolutely disgusting. I wouldn't use them as toilet paper. The top does not look like "graffiti," as Kenley so idiotically said, but like the cover of The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. The jacket is the only thing that remotely works in this outfit. It is appalling that Kenley isn't out after this. The judges seemed to give her some leeway, saying that it's not what she's used to, but GUESS WHAT. I bet Korto doesn't really have much experience with punkish clothing but SHE DID JUST FINE. FUCK YOU, JUDGES.

What makes this all the worse is Kenley's attitude during the whole thing. Her complete disdain for hip-hop culture was rude and bordered on racially insensitive. It's very telling that when Tim quizzed her about making baggy clothes (which, by the way, did not go out in the 80s, Kenley), she got offended and said she wasn't going to make Leanne look like an idiot. I really wish we could have seen the unedited interaction between her and LL Cool J when she said something similar on the runway - he seemed to get really frustrated by that. Her attitude toward Tim and the judges is also disgusting - she'll soak up the praise, but if anyone says an ill word, she's instantly defensive and everyone else is wrong. And now she's staying around because she's the villain. FUCK YOU, KENLEY.

ARGH.

Suede
Model: Jerell
Genre: Rock

I've made it no secret that I've wanted Suede gone for a long time. I was eagerly anticipating his auf. I felt it coming this week. Then, the producers managed to find a way to take all the joy out of it. Instead of Suede going home for one of his past monstrosities, he gets a bullshit auf when he didn't really do all that badly. FUCK YOU PRODUCERS FOR NOT LETTING ME REVEL IN THIS.

The vest is cool. The pants are cool. The shirt is the biggest mistake, because it does look like something Jerell would wear anyway, and it's really not all that rock-ish.

Whatever, Suede still sucks.

Next week: Kenley acts like an awful, spoiled, whiny, crazy two-year old. Also, they'll make dresses or something.

Vote for Mange?

2008-09-24T09:37:00.000-04:00

No, silly - Vote for Change! At this site (sponsored by the Obama campaign), you can register to vote if not yet registered, and then either find out how to request an absentee ballot or find your polling place. GO DO IT.

Keep On Rockin' Me, Tina

2008-09-22T10:00:00.001-04:00

At last night's Emmy awards, 30 Rock, nominated for 17 awards (the most ever for a comedy series!) pretty much cleaned up. Tina Fey first won for Best Writing on a Comedy Series. Next, Alec Baldwin won Best Actor in a Comedy Series, followed by another win for Tina Fey as Best Actress in a Comedy Series. Finally, Mary Tyler Moore and Betty White (!) presented Tina and the entire cast with the award for Best Comedy Series. Color me overjoyed. 30 Rock is by far my favorite show on television right now, and it's fantastic to see it get all the recognition it deserves. Hopefully, now people will start watching it, since it's been in danger of cancellation pretty much since its inception. Although I'll probably write a longer love post when the show comes back around in a month, for now, I shall revel.

Correct

2008-09-19T14:00:00.000-04:00

Project Runway Rundown: You Can Quote Me on That

2008-09-19T11:50:00.005-04:00

This week's recap gimmick: Quotations!

Jerell

"What the fuck is on Jerell's head?" - Me

UGH, I guess I have to give Jerell some credit here. This look worked well, although the blouse/skirt combo might not be work-appropriate without the cardigan, which is by far the best part of this outfit. The blouse and skirt are nice, but the cardigan really puts it into awesome land. Problem: That thing on Jerell's head? He originally wanted her to wear that. As I keep saying, Jerell has no idea how to style an outfit, and if she hadn't had the good sense to refuse that stupid little hat, he would have lost the win. But for once, he did everything else right, so congrats to Jerell. May he bore us with several more clever-but-not-really-all-that-clever confessionals as he saunters his way to Bryant Park.

Kenley

"I'm gonna make the prettiest dress in the world." - Kenley

Uh, Kenley? Turns out you fell a bit short of that lofty goal. I don't care what the judges say - I though this look was mediocre at best. That is the exact same dress Kenley keeps turning out, and guess what? You can get it at Goodwill. No need to enlist an overly loud designer. Also, that tulle sticking out at the bottom is absurd. The only thing I like is the vest, which offsets the rest nicely. Maybe I just have a Kenley imprint on my brain now, but if I saw this person on the street, I would be instantly irritated and annoyed. It just looks way too self-consciously hip.

P.S. Fuck you, Kenley and Li'l Kenley, for being so rude during the judging. HATE.

Korto

"I think the jacket is cool." - Cynthia Rowley

ME TOO, Cynthia Rowley! (Aside: I love Cynthia Rowley! She was a great guest.) In fact, I want that jacket. I adore the green piping against the burlap-ish color. I would wear it everywhere and be the prettiest boy around. Although I was talking to some that felt the jacket didn't go with the dress, I disagree; I really like the contrasting effect. The dress does seem a bit too simple, though.

Leanne

"Stop being mean to Leanne!" - Me

Okay, this? Is cute. It's very cute for a teacher. I didn't get all the hate. The sweater is really interesting, but still demure and classy, and the skirt is simple, which is pretty much required for an elementary school teacher. This accomplishes everything it needed to, but the judges apparently need to create some doubt in our mind about who's going to win this whole thing, so they decided to attack poor Leanne. (Who is going to win. I wish we could just fast forward to the finale and give it to her already. The only other person who even has a fighting chance is Korto.)

Suede

"I think Suede is a poseur. I don't understand his aesthetic as a designer." - Kenley

"I will say no more." - Nina

That about sums it up. The jacket is atrocious on a billion different levels. The dress is okay, but it's also all print. I barf on Suede's stupid head.

Joe

"I'm definitely confident in my design." - Joe

Oh Joe. This was just tragic. I had high hopes, since he has daughters, but...yuck. I mean, this makes girl look big, and girl was not all that big. It's hopelessly dated, and the construction is just terrible. LOOK AT THAT SHIRT. Ugh. Also, the belt and shoes are all wrong. I guess us Michiganders just aren't meant to win Project Runway (although my eternal PR boyfriend, Daniel V, came close!)

Next week: Whatever. I'm rapidly losing interest.

Privilege and Politics

2008-09-17T12:59:00.003-04:00

Aviva's just full of awesome links - here's a fantastic post about the way white privilege has manifested itself in the presidential campaign. I've excerpted part of it below:

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because “every family has challenges,” even as black and Latino families with similar “challenges” are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you’re being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you’re somehow being mean, or even sexist. 

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it, a “light” burden. 

And there's more! This is a must-read.

Be Well, Do Good Work, and Keep in Touch

2008-09-17T11:24:00.003-04:00

I have this habit of listening to the podcast of Garrison Keillor's The Writer's Almanac before I go to bed at night. It's relaxing. The other day, I heard this poem and I really liked it, so here's a dose of something nice before what will likely be another angry Project Runway post tomorrow:

Maybe Very Happy
by Jack Gilbert

After she died he was seized
by a great curiosity about what
it was like for her. Not that he
doubted how much she loved him.
But he knew there must have been
some things she had not liked.
So he went to her closest friend
and asked what she complained of.
"It's all right," he had to keep
saying, "I really won't mind."
Until the friend finally gave in.
"She said sometimes you made a noise
drinking your tea if it was very hot."

Introducing: In Heavy Rotation

2008-09-15T11:00:00.001-04:00

New blog feature today! I will now have an Imeem playlist on my sidebar that represents my recent favorite music. (By "recent," I mean what I've been listening to lately, not that the music is necessarily recent. Although I wish it could be the latter, I'm not as up on new musicks as I should be.) I hope to update it every other week or so, and if I feel strongly enough about it, I'll post a little entry about the updates.

Starting playlist is after the jump:

"On the Train" by Theatre of Disco - Catchy! Weird! Vaguely unsettling!
"That's Not My Name" by The Ting Tings - I know I'm way behind on them (gasp - I didn't even know who they were before their iPod commerical), but it's still a fun song.
"Strange Overtones" by David Byrne and Brian Eno - From their excellent new album, Everything That Happens Will Happen Today. This is my favorite track from the album.
"The Ladies Who Lunch" from Company, as performed by Elaine Stritch - I'm not a musical gay, but this is great enough to awaken that dormant gene.
"Fireworks" by Animal Collective - Not very recent, but I'm in the midst of an Animal Collective resurgence.
"Silence" by Portishead - This is the opening track from my favorite album so far this year (Third, which is also Portishead's first in 11 years).
"8:08 PM @ The Beach" by Fred Falke - Ah, laid-back dance.
"Gut Feeling/Slap Your Mammy" by Devo - Brian love Devo.
"Cities" by Talking Heads - I just rewatched Stop Making Sense, so some Talking Heads representation is essential.
"Modern Love" by David Bowie - His best from the 80s.

Please Don't Stop the Music

2008-09-12T13:47:00.003-04:00

Here's a fun little article for a Friday. A professor in Scotland has been undertaking a study to see what personality types like different sorts of music. Although it's a little bit icky that the professor cites marketing as a possible use for the research, it's still fun to look over the genres and see how well you match up with the supposed personality type of your favorite music. It's like a musical horoscope!

Example: Out of the listed genres, I probably identify with "indie" and "dance" the most, although both of those are really vague. Based on that, I am creative, outgoing, not gentle, not hard-working, and I have low self-esteem.

Sounds about right!

Project Runway Rundown: Fuck This Shit

2008-09-11T12:24:00.007-04:00

UGH. Worst episode ever. After the jump, I'll explain why the judging this episode has serious implications beyond just this week.

Tomorrow, all six of the remaining designers will show at Bryant Park. This is a practice the show has always used to avoid spoiling the outcome - since Bryant Park happens while the show is still airing, the producers have to let all the designers that appear to still be in contention create a line, or else the Final Three would be spoiled. That means that Terri does not get to show at Bryant Park, but Jerell, Joe, and Suede, all vastly inferior designers, do. Let me say that again: SUEDE GETS TO SHOW A LINE AT BRYANT PARK.

This is tragic.

Beyond that, there was just way too much going on this episode, and none of it all that interesting. Nonetheless, I shall charge ahead and dutifully provide my thoughts on the various designers this week.

Jerell (with Jennifer)

This is the winner? Really? This look easily ranks fourth for me this week. That jacket is HIDEOUS. Ugly does not equal avant-garde. Seriously, those little peacock feathers or whatever at the elbow are awful, the print is unflattering, and there's just way too much going on. The gold lamé top to the dress looks cheap and tacky, and the styling, which Jerell always fails at, is just ridiculous. (What's in her hair? A lightning bolt?) Having said all that, I do quite like the skirt, and it's probably what gave him the win. The side flaps are interesting, and the flare at the bottom gives a nice effect.

Joe (with Daniel)

This is a really impressive look, although the skirt is a bit reminiscent of Christian and Chris's absolutely amazing avant-garde outfit last season. (Speaking of: how did the designers do so much worse with the avant-garde concept compared to last time around? Last season there were two stunning, completely original entries; this season, there were like, 0.5.) The top complements the skirt nicely without drawing too much attention, and the shrug provides a nice accent to prevent the top from looking too bare. A strong showing from Joe, although if Tim's blog is to be believed, Daniel was more in charge of this team. (Which makes me feel vindicated for still loving him.)

Korto (with Kelli)

I love the skirt on this. It's very Korto; flowy, lots of volume, etc. Things go haywire up top, which looks like third-rate Leanne. Also, it's not visible in this picture, but the huge mass of fabric on her back didn't add much to the overall design. It looked tacked on at the last second. Again, Tim's blog provides an interesting insight: Kelli apparently became rather sick during the challenge, so Korto was mostly working on her own. Although I still don't love the look, that tidbit makes me more forgiving of Korto this week.

Leanne (with Emily)

It looks sort of sloppy in this picture, but this probably would have been my pick for the winner. It captures Scorpio nicely without being too obvious, but is still clearly a Leanne creation. I love the way the "claws" form a sort of hood. Although still not all that avant-garde (none of this was), it was sexy and fun. If Leanne doesn't make it to Bryant Park, expect another angry post title out of me.

Kenley (with Wesley)

Positives: I got to see my boyfriend Wesley again, and he was as adorable as ever. Thank you, editors, for the gratuitous shirtless shot. Seeing Wesley back on the show is sort of like watching An Inconvenient Truth and wondering how great things could have been if Al Gore didn't get cheated out of the presidency.

Negatives: EVERYTHING ELSE. Jesus. What the hell is this? This looks like what the mildly psychotic sister of Tweedledum and Tweedledee would wear.

Kenley's inspiration

I can't say enough bad stuff about this dress. First of all, it doesn't fit the challenge at all. Nothing about this says Aquarius. (Although I did love Kenley screaming at Heidi (pardon the inexact quote), "How is this not Aquarius? It's free-spirited and eccentric and PURPLE!" Riiiight.) Beyond that, the shoulders are insane, the vinyl corset thing doesn't tie in with the rest of the look at all, and the skirt is the same poofy floral goiter nonsense that Kenley's been making for every challenge. Although the design is atrocious, it was well-constructed, and that's probably what saved Kenley. It certainly wasn't her screaming tirade against the judges, which again showed how unprofessional she really is.

Suede (with Jerry)

Oh goody, the two most delusional designers from this season get paired up, and they make... pajamas. I guess Suede is going to win or something, because apparently, he can never make something bad enough to get kicked off. But at least I know he'll keep trying!

Blayne (with Stella)

Oh my. Blayne apparently took avant-garde to mean "Make an outfit that looks like some sort of rejected Buffy the Vampire Slayer monster." I really can't say anything about this that hasn't already been said. It's awful. I'm sort of afraid my blog is going to get flagged as vulgar as a result of me posting this picture.

I know I've been hard on Blayne though, and since I won't have the chance again, I'll say now that he grew on me as the competition went on as he seemed less concerned about being a character. It was really sweet the way he and Stella interacted, and it's a shame they couldn't produce something better than this. Blayne was in way over his head on this show, but I hope he's learned from it and can move on to better things.

Terri (with Keith)

Yes, Terri was awful with Keith this week. She was rude and unnecessarily hostile. HOWEVER. Keith didn't really earn himself any sympathy points by talking about how "fragile" he was due to his recent aufing. Guess what, Keith? Stella got kicked off even more recently than you, and she worked her ass off for Blayne without a single complaint. It seemed like these two were dead set on not getting along, and Terri made a huge mistake by tearing into Keith on the runway. Since I always harp on Kenley for being unprofessional, I have to be fair and also say that Terri was extremely unprofessional in this episode.

Having said that, I don't believe teamwork was listed as a criterion for the judging this time around, but it seems like Terri went primarily because of her little catwalk catfight. Because really, this look is not as horrid as the judges made it seem. Sure, it deserved to be in the bottom half, primarily because of those weird shoulders. (Why does avant-garde = poofy shoulders for these people?) I kinda liked the bodice though, and the shape on the hem is interesting, although it looks a bit uneven. Considering the crap that Kenley and Suede churned out, Terri's aufing was bullshit. It's small comfort, but at least I prognosticated her unjust departure a while back.

sigh.

Next week: I don't remember what happened in the preview, but Suede is still around, so it'll probably be annoying and laden with stories about how his dead goldfish inspired him to add scales to his dress. Then Jerell will say something vaguely witty he dreamed up months before the show started and was just waiting for a chance to use. He will style his model's hair like Marge Simpson and the judges will give it a standing ovation. Kenley will cry and yell at the judges after she sends the same dress down the runway again for the nth week in a row, and then she'll probably win. Joe will continue to hide in the corner and say nothing, except perhaps a disparaging anti-gay comment here and there. Then, Korto and Leanne will get double auf'd, because the judges are deadset on pissing me off.

Everybody Poops

2008-09-08T15:03:00.004-04:00

I recently became aware of something known as YouTube Poop. As it turns out, it's slightly less unpleasant than it sounds:

A YouTube Poop, or YTP, is a mix of media (most commonly video) to generate a video that either stuns, annoys, or entertains its audience. Contrary to popular belief, YTP is not limited to Zelda and Mario cartoons, Over 9000, or Sonic cartoons, but it can be a mix of anything; material is unlimited.

The definition of YouTube Poop and the style is always being altered, and viewers of it have different reactions. To some, YTP is an art, and to others, it is worthless and pointless, with no reason to exist. (Source: The definition on Urban Dictionary that made the most sense to me)

So in essence, it's a re-edited version of something that's already on YouTube. I've looked into a fair amount of Poop since discovering it (there's a sentence I never thought I'd type), and while most of it is annoying and not all that funny, I have found one such video that I am ready to label a masterpiece for our time. It reimagines a scene from Cycle 10 of America's Next Top Model as though David Lynch were directing an episode of Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job. Observe the awesomeness (and brace yourself):

AMAZING.

You ma'am, are no Tina Fey

2008-09-05T13:59:00.002-04:00

Much has been made of the resemblance between professional asswipe Sarah Palin and professional most-amazing-person-ever Tina Fey. (I myself have taken to referring to Ms. Palin as "Tina Fey Gone Terribly Wrong" or, in my bitchier moments, "Busted-Up Tina Fey.") So I was pretty amused by this Think Progress post (sent to me by Aviva) that shows Tina and John on the cover of Life Magazine back in 2004. LOLlerskates.

Project Runway Rundown: It's a Foreign Affaaaaaaaaaair...

2008-09-04T13:56:00.007-04:00

During last week's preview, when Diane von Furstenberg appeared, the following conversation happened between my heterosexual male roommate (HMR) and I:

Me: OMG ITS DIANE VON FURSTENBERG
HMR: ...who?
ME: OMG SHE CREATED THE WRAP DRESS
HMR: ...what?
ME: OMG SHE'S FABULOUS
HMR: ...

Yeah, I really love her. She was the bright spot of this otherwise mundane episode. Read on for my thoughts on all the looks.

Leanne

Congrats to the first repeat winner of the season, and even more impressive, the first consecutive winner in two seasons! (Fun PR Fact: Every designer who has won two challenges in a row has made it to Bryant Park. Only Kara Saun, Daniel V, Michael Knight and Jeffrey have accomplished this.) This dress is GORGEOUS. The neckline is fantastic, and the silhouette is sexy and flattering. I absolutely love the ruffle on the back, which is only barely visible in this picture. I only have a minor issue with the look, and that's the jacket, which looks a bit slapdash and doesn't entirely work with the dress. Fortunately for Leanne, the dress is strong enough on it's own to overcome the jacket.

Korto

This was my personal favorite. I appreciate that Korto used a print in an effort to fit into the DVF universe, and I think she used it quite well. The splash of yellow really wakes the dress up, and unlike Leanne's, I think the shrug/jackety thing here works really well with the rest of the look. Korto is currently my choice to make it to Bryant Park and win this whole thing.

Kenley

I didn't really get the love for this dress. Although I like that Kenley used a print, I think this particular print looks like a Magic Eye picture. The silhouette is flattering, if a bit basic. I also don't like that she didn't layer, since that seemed to be such a feature in the collection. On a personal tangent, if you'll allow me to put on my thought-about-being-a-sociologist hat for a second, I think the styling of the model was stereotypical and downright offensive - Asian does not have to mean geisha. Also, I have a new Project Runway rule inspired by Kenley this week:

Project Runway Season Five Rule #3: Shut up, Kenley.

Blayne

I like the jacket. I even kind of like the exploding color scarf. I HATE THOSE SHORTS/PANTS/WHATEVERS. Gross and unflattering.

Jerell

After a brief hiccup last week, I can go back to being entirely baffled by whatever the hell Jerell is trying to do. This is just bizarre. The skirt is too short (and looks uneven), the jacket is too bulky, that top looks weird, and that bright blue belt doesn't fit with the rest of the look at all. Besides that, the styling (which seems to be Jerell's biggest handicap) is terrible - that little hat is way too precious, and I don't mean that as a positive. Sadly, he's probably going to make it to Bryant Park, because they're going to want at least one guy, and he's the most likely out of those who remain to make it.

Terri

I don't really get the Terri hate from the other designers - so she makes pants a lot. Most people wear pants everyday - not dresses or skirts. I see nothing wrong with this, especially when the time constraints are as severe as they were on this challenge and she knows she can whip a pair out fast. I thought this look worked really well and should have made Top 3 instead of Kenley, although Korto and Leanne still placed higher. The fireworks-adorned top is a fantastic splash of color, and the silhouette of the jacket is quite flattering. I'm really hoping Terri makes it to Bryant Park, if only because I think her collection would be different from anything this show has seen thus far.

Suede

ARGH I am so incredibly over Suede, and I'm tired of wasting my time critiquing his crap. The dress sucks. The print sucks. The vest sucks. JUST LEAVE ALREADY. At least no dead relatives helped him with his dress this week.

Joe

Oh Joe. Yow. This was bad. Really bad. See my complaint of Kenley's styling for my opinion on the "Asian" top. The shawl looks like a garbage bag draped over the top of her head. Although the construction issues aren't as visible in this picture, the unevenness in the back was horrible and distracting. Perhaps most importantly, even if this were all executed perfectly, the outfit would still look like a cheap costume. Joe's lucky to have survived this one. If I were a judge, he would have been my vote for the auf.

Stella

I actually didn't hate this. I thought the idea was much stronger than Joe's, although her execution issues were even worse than his. The cape did turn out looking magician-like, but I see where she was going with it. I really like the vest and pants if I don't look too long, but Kors was right: the crotch is INSANE. Yow. Also, each piece looked sort of cheap. Sorry, Stella, but since Joe had a slightly better past record, he had the edge on you here. We'll miss you!

Arts!

2008-09-02T14:06:00.004-04:00

I just bought some art prints to put up in my room, and I thought I'd share them with you all. I had bare walls all last year and decided I couldn't handle that this time around. I didn't get exactly what I wanted, as I was somewhat limited by the fact that things cost money in our capitalist society, but I still quite like each of these. So without further ado:

Les Desmoiselles d'Avignon - Pablo Picasso

This wasn't my first pick as far as Picasso paintings went - I would have rather had Ma Jolie or The Portrait of Daniel-Henry Kahnweiler - but this is obviously a classic, and while it may be a bit obvious, I'm still happy to have this adorn my room.

Silver on Black - Jackson Pollock

I don't love all Pollock, but I really like the large splotches of black on this, and tracing the silver around with one's eye is good fun.

Blam - Roy Lichtenstein

I had a conversation last night with someone who also has this print, but hasn't hung it due to the somewhat disturbing nature of it and how that might reflect on him. (Which I think is fair - this sort of painting is going to have a much different context in our time than it did at the time of its creation.) I think for me, the comic book rendering removes that connotation, and I appreciate Lichtenstein enough to still gladly hang this.

Was Fur Ein Vogel Bist Du? - Max Ernst

I'll admit it - I just think this guy is adorable. I'm not a huge fan of surrealism, although I do love Ernst's Two Children Are Threatened by a Nightingale, but I'm a sucker for a cute little stick figure-like creature. He just looks so happy! (Anyone speak German? I'm clueless as to what this translates to, and Babelfish just spewed out some nonsense sentence about a bird.)